The Queen of Roumania Looks on Life

Ladies' Mirror, Volume 4, Issue 10, 1 April 1926, Page 26

The Queen of Roumania Looks on Life

Ghanging Ideals of Jfve and dMandage

IN several of my articles I have spoken about love— only just a quarter of what I would have liked to say, though ! —and now I speak about marriage. You might observe, “But is it not one and the same thing?” and if I could answer that with a loud and ready “ Yes,” as we are supposed to say before the altar, then indeed I would be wiping half the tragedies, comedies and dramas out of life. Marriage! In this world of ours which is changing in such a disconcerting way, the word has rather a different sound than it had, let us say, even ten years ago. Old-Fashioned IT used to mean the supreme aim of every girl’s life, her ideal, her dream. The dream varied, of course, according to the quality of the girl. For some it meant Love with a huge capital L. With others it meant money, luxury, position, ease; and for the humbler merely a home, a corner to cal] her own, a house to direct, look after, to possess. Women love to possess, to be at home. For many it also meant children, but this is most of all seems to have become an old-fashioned ideal.

In this new world, then, marriage is no more the supreme goal. It remains the aim of most girls, but they know that if they do not marry there will, all the same, still be for them somewhere an honourable corner where they can be happy, useful, or merely content. Large possibilities open out before them and, as in many ways girls are being brought up more wisely than formerly— practically, anyhow will certainly know how to seize these possibilities. But I feel like calling out to them to be careful not to overreach, not to lose their birthright in straining towards sex equality. THERE is geat talk about getting rid of marriage for free love ; there is also talk about modifying marriage. Of course, I follow all that is being said and discussed, and have had time in my day to come to my own conclusions, which does not mean that I am not still learning.

Free love sounds alluring, but I do not belong to those who would vote for such a complete upsetting of old rules, laws, institutions, traditions and morals. Human beings, at best, are none too great lovers of order and convention, and if no restriction of any kind were put upon them I am sure that soon they would find the world becoming a. perfectly impossible place to live in. I am, though, inclined towards modifying certain things in marriage if it could be done in a non-destructive way. Being a Queen, and my words being almost torn out of my mouth to broadcast over the world at large, I have quite naturally to be somewhat reticent when handling subjects, in case I should be misunderstood and my opinions unduly amplified and given out either as advice or criticism while I am merely discussing them as would anyone who has learned to think. Marriage is not the simple affair fairy stories make it cut to be

(“And they lived happily ever after.”) There may he complications during the time of wooing, hut the problems and conflicts begin with that loud or whispered “ Yes ” before the altar, uttered in perfect good faith but often with just as perfect ignorance of what the “ ever after ” really means and entails. course, like all Anglo-Saxons, I incline towards love matches and am always rather horrified when I see or hear of marriages being arranged solely for reasons of interest, everything being well thought out and calculated. The inclination of the two young people towards each other should he the sole guide. But I have seen real love matches end in disaster, and I have known more than one “ marriage dc raison ” to succeed quite admirably. I belong to the age when marriage meant a bond we had not the intention to untie. It was with that conception that I was brought up, and I must confess that it has always remained mine. “ For better, for worse ” had a literal meaning. We believed in the vows we were taking and we stood the “ worse ”

even if there was little “ better ” about it. Here in Rumania divorce is looked upon as very natural; marriage is, in fact, just a trial, an association an experiment which can be broken or thrown over at any moment. I never could get accustomed to this conception of things, but, then, I am a home-lover. Not an Experiment T AM also passionately a mother. like to create my corner and stick to it, and, though I was born courageous, I never felt as though I would have had the courage to break my life to pieces and begin it all over again with another man in another place. But, of course, for a Princess or a Queen to divorce would mean an awful row and upset, so perhaps I cannot judge the question impartially, let alone the religious side

of it, which means something to us. I am afraid that a new head and , mentality would have to be screwed on to my body to make me really agree to the idea of marriage being looked upon solely as a contract that, like any other, can be broken at any moment just because one or the other wants to try the same experiment with somebody else. The Path to Chaos HOME and family give to the world a feeling of stability for which, I think, it has great need. If we tear down all existing traditions, principles, and institutions we shall soon find ourselves in an inextricable chaos in which each man will be grabbing things for himself, having done away with all feeling of duty, honour, and responsibility. And then where shall we be ?