The Art of apology

Ladies' Mirror, Volume 4, Issue 10, 1 April 1926, Page 22

The Art of apology

QTRANGE that the little word “Sorry!” should be so easy to say when late for breakfast or treading on somebody’s toes and often so hard when there is a real grievance. For the lack of that word many hearts have been estranged and friendships broken (writes Mary Johnson in the Daily Mail). Flow often you hear, “I can’t speak to her unless she apologises.” Why won’t she? From refusal to think she is in the wrong? From pride, obstinacy? Probably the “Sorry” is needed from both sides. Fortunately the art of apology is not always so difficult. In its easiest form, of course, it is expressed in the graceful note explaining nonattendance at some meeting or social function where nobody is much the worse for your lapse. More trying is the need for it after the forgetfulness of a dinner party or some special appointment. This kind, indeed, demands great care, otherwise it might double the offence. It must be done quickly; if

the need for it is imperative, delay is insulting. It will not be, and ought not to be, easy, but grace of manner and a reputation to one’s credit will do much to bring forgiveness. It is an art to know when not to apologise. If your offence has been unintentional you may. do more harm than good by alluding to it. Ignoring a mistake, when possible, is often the best way of disarmament. Or, if feelings are seriously hurt, your apology may take the form, later, of bestowing some practical attention or pleasure. Apologies can be tolerated if they are rare. Nothing is more irritating than the frequent profuse “I am frightfully sorry” of those who are, for instance, systematically unpunctual. You may forgive a big wrong with magnanimity, but how wearin gare the constant small demands on your pardon. The art of apology is a very useful asset, but happy are those who can cultivate the art of avoiding all necessity for it.