ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XV, Issue 1286, 25 September 1880, Page 2

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

The Banks carrying on business in Auckland are very mean in the matter of notes, issuing the same dirty, greasy, vilesmelling notes time after time, until they will hardly hold together. The chief offender in this matter is the Union Bank, which has recently been made a limited - liability Bank, necessitating the addition of the word "Limited" to the name of the Company. It would naturally be expected that new notes would be issued. No !—the old notes are re-issued M'ith the word " Limited " stamped on them with a rubber-stamp, costing perhaps three half-crowns. Of course, the Bank is a poor, poverty-stricken institution. Their last dividend and bonus amounted to only sixteen per cent, per annum. I wonder if the notes, dated before the alteration and stamped " Limited " are legal. Ido not believe in " cheap law," so will not ask one of my legal friends for an opinion, and it is a matter that does not affect my pocket, so I will not pay for a proper opinion, but just draw the attention of any who may be interested to the legal point. Last week two new papers made their first appearance — the Observer and tire Mercantile* Gazette. The former is a society paper, similar to Vanity Fair, and, if the future issues are as good as No. 1, it should be a success. The latter is printed for free distribution, and will consequently have a very large list of subscriber!", the advertisers sharing the cost of publishing the paper with the proprietor, for I do not think the Mercantile Gazette will be a paying speculation. I think we will soon have enough newspapers in Auckland, as, besides the dailies, we have bix weeklies. Some of the weeklies are very " weakly," and are not likely to live long. There was an absurd rumour in town this week to the effect that Messrs McKenzie & Ross, ship-chandlers, had sought the protection of the Bankruptcy Court. I knew that Captain McKenzie had made a number of enemies by becoming Chairman of that collection of humbugs—the Central Committee, but I did not think anyone would circulate sucli a rumour of malice-aforethought. I knew further that the firm was one of the soundest firms in Auckland. I, therefore, set to work to ascertain the cause of the rumour, and found that it was an advertisement appearing in the newspapers, headed "In Bankruptcy, &c." from which it appeared that Messrs McKenzie and Ross had applied for an order of the Supreme Court, adjudicating a debtor of their firm a bankrupt. It was the old, old story, " A mountain was in labour, and a mouse was brought forth." 1 ' Passed on to Spirit life, on September 16, Sarah, the beloved wife of J. C. Wilkes, " is the latest style of notifying a death in the public papers. I do not know Mr Wilkes, but I am sorry that he should have met with bereavement, but why any man should send to a newspaper such a notification of the death of his wife I cannot tell. I think that Mr and Mrs Hart gave the Waikato residents the benefit of their entertainment, known as " Happy Hours. " One evening recently Mr Hart had a slight difference in opinion with another gentleman. He proceeded to argue the point with a bottle, with which he struck his friend, cutting his head. The friend mentioned the matter to a gentleman wearing a blue uniform, who, in duo course, introduced Mr Hurt to cur worthy Resident Magistrate. The consequence is that, for the next month, Mr Hart will spend bis happy hours in that large, splendidly - situated and well-managed hotel, provided for the benefit of such of Her Majesty's subjects as are recommended by a Judge of the Supreme Court, a Resident Magistrate, or even one of the " great unpaid." I am much obliged to your correspondent, signing himself " Molesworthstreet," for the kind manner in which he endeavours to "lighten my darkness" with regard to the position of the observatory in Wellington. I confess that I am in error, but it is so long tince I was in the Empire City that I trust he will pardon me. On making enquiries from a thoroughly reliable gentleman who has recently returned from Wellington, I find that the wind-gruage is not in a valley, but "on a rising ground," a«i stated by II Moles worth-street," but it is so well sheltered by the everlasting 1 hills that it cannot and don not register the true velocity of the wind, if it were placed ou the top of the Government Offices it would, I believe, register three times the velocity it does at present. The fact of the matter is that the wind-guage is part of the Meteorological Department, which is a costly humbug- kept up at the expense of the colony for the benefit of Dr. Hector. Dr. Hector himself is rather a costly member of our Civil Service, if so great and wise a man may be called a Civil servant. He was sent to the Thames to report on the probability of it becoming a payable goldfield. He went. He i examined the hills and valleys. He then gave it as his authoritative opinion that there was no gold at the Thames. He had hardly got back to Wellington before Hunt and party struck the celebrated Shotover Reef. On another occasion this celebrated sayan was requested to go to the Grey River, to examine some land there, as it was believed that there was a valuable coalfield there. Dr. Hector prepared an elaborate report, in which he described the geologioal features of the district, and gave it as his authoritative opinion that there was no coal there. The ink was hardly dry on his report when a practical, not a scientific man, discovered coal in large quantities on the very land, in which the great scientist had reported that there was none. Some of the honourable members of the House seem to believe that Dr. Hector knows everything and can suggest a remedy for every ill. On one occasion the question to which they required an answer was, " What shall we do with our prisoners ?" One of Dr. Hector's admirers immediately suggested that he should be asked to furnish a report. He was asked, and he did furnish a report, paid for, of course, out of the taxes levied on a grateful and admiring people. Ho recommended that they (the prisoners, not the honorable members) should be. scut ta

Resolution Island. It would be almost impossible for them to escape, and, if they did so, they would land on the desolate south-west coast of the middle Island. He further stated that the prisoners could be employed in quarrying granite, of which ha said there was an unlimited supply on the Wand, and in squaring the granite, so that it might be used for erecting public buildings &c. The report was very favourably received, until it was discovered that there was not an* ounce of granite on the island. Dr Hector is certainly a costly, but I think not a valuable, colonist. Ido Dot know if he is the scientist referred to in the following lines — " Father you are a scientist, They say, and all things know." " My child if you've a.dollar left Kou go and bet '%is so." But iii spite of all his failures, some of his friends will "go and bet tia so." If any one wants to know more about this learned and scientific gentleman, let them ask some of the more intelligent of our Auckland -nembers. The "unemployed," to the nnmber of a hundred and forty, presented a petition to the City Council, praying for work. The City Fathers offered to give thpm 4s 2d per yard for breaking road-metal. Of course, the work is pretty hard, but a steady man can, after a little practise, earn about £2 per week at it. Seven put down their names for the work — exactly five per cent. I know of one gentleman, who, when he first came to Auckland, finding he could not get other employment, broke stones for some time, and nu sensible man thinks less of him for 80 doing. St. Mtmao.