Short Story.

Western Star, Issue 2218, 1 July 1898, Page 4

Short Story.

The Bishop’s Boots.

When it was noised abroad that the Bishop of Bromptou had promised to pay a special visit to Chumptou-ou-Mire, for the express purpose of opening the fancy fair in aid of the Local Soup Kitchen, the inhabitants of that salubrious watering-place could scarcely contain themselves with joy. And among those whose imperfectly suppressed excitement was particularly noticeable was the Hon. Hilda, the fair daughter of the Lady Ealtstares, patroness and chief organiser of the fancy fair. There were other daughters of the noble house of Bakstares, but the Hon. Hilda was the youngest and the fairest. There was Mabel, who was dark and somewhat fleshy ; Violet, whose tresses inclined to that particular shade which is vulgarly, but expressively, known as “ carrots” ; and Phyllis, whose patrician beauty was slightly marred by an undoubted squint and a freckled nose. All admired the Bishop of Brompton, but the lovely Hilda did more than that —she adored him. } If the truth were told, there was something in the fact that the Hon. Hilda was sojourning at Chumptou-on-Mire. and that she had taken a prominent part in the getting up of the fancy fair which induced his lordship to set aside certain urgent and Important and episcopal duties, and to promise to open the bazaar and to visit the Roup Kitchen. The worthy ecclesiastic was young, good-looking, and eloquent. Pie was also unmarried. Now, a bishop without a spouse is like a ship without a rudder. He merely drifts. On this subject Ids lordship had oftentimes pondered, and it seemed to him that the Hon. Hilda was in every way fitted to share tin* honour and dignity of that exalted station in life to which he had been called, tie was comely, wealthy, and she look a deep and enduring interest In soup kitchens. Why should not the business, to employ a sordid commercial term, be fixed up at Chumpton during his lordship’s flying visit to Chumpton V The fancy fair would lie his excuse for going to that not particularly interesting spot, and if, when he arrived, he found that the opportunity was not a favourable one, he could but return to town, and no barm would be done. Likewise, no one would have smelt a rat. As soon as the Bishop’s letter was received, the Ladies Bakstares despatched telegrams to their dressmakers ordering new gowns. The feminine ornaments of Chumpton-on-Mire went and did likewise, and a “ corner” in chiffon and nooks and eyes was only narrowly averted.

The eventful day dawned at last, and •with it came the gowns and the Bishop. His lordship arrived the previous evening, and at once went to his hotel. Early the following morning—the morning of all mornings in the annals of Chnmpton —he rose, dressed, and went for a solitary stroll. In acting thusly the Bishop was guided by two things. He wished to arrange his speech for the opening ceremony, and he thought that perhaps Fortune might throw the fair Hilda in his way, and thus enable him to bring matters to a crisis. Chumpton was scarcely stirring when his lordship tripped down the hotel steps, and, descending the cliffs—“ which command iovcly and unsurpassed views of lie -English Channel” (vide Guide)—made his way to the deserted beach. It was very peaceful. Not a sound, save the beating of the waves on the shore and the occasional twitter of a bird, disturbed the calm air. Not a flurnan being was in sight. Exhilarated by his surroundings his lordship strode on, and soon left the red roofs and dusty streets of Chumpton behind him. Presently he sat down, and as In- did so his eyes fell upon the tossing waves. How deliciously cool the sea looked—aow refreshingly green ! The morning was hot, ana his brisk walk in the sun had thrown his lordship into a bath of perspiration. He removed his hat and mopped his brow, and then —he gazed at the sea again. Yes, it did look cool, charmingly cool. His eyes wandered from end to end of the beach, and took In the entire length of the cliffs. There was not a soul about. Why not indulge in a plunge ? It would take but a few moments, and—but no, it was out of the question. His lordship had omitted to provide himself with the necessary towels and the equally necessary bathing garments. It w-as a pity, but the idea must be abandoned. But if he did not venture upon a dip, what was to prevent his indulging in that delightfully innocent and healthful amusement of bis youth—a paddle ? Nothing. , Another swift look up and down the oeach and the Episcopal boots and socks were removed, the Episcopal trousers were tucked up, and, carrying his footgear in ids hands, the Bishop of Brompfou stepped gaily into the surf. With head bent low and his mind concentrated upon his speech, he strolled leisurely along, ignorant of the fact that the pleAsant-lookiug sands abounded in treacherous quagmires. Into one of them he suddenly stepped, and then—well, it was all over in a moment. His lordship found himself on his back wildly beating the air with his hands. He scrambled on to dry land somehow, rather alarmed and somewhat wet. but happily safe, and then he suddenly remembered.his boots and socks. In his excitement lie had dropped them, and to his horror and consternation he observed them riding gaily on the crest of a gigantic wave far out, at sea. And they were drifting further from shore every minute. wiiat was to be done ? For a moment the awfnlness of the situation overwhelmed him, and bo had to sit. down and draw a long breath. Yes, what was to be done ? He could not walk back to his hotel with bare feet, like a pilgrim of ancient days, and yet if be remained where be was be would sooner of later be discovered. And then what ? A bishop deprived of his boots and socks is not a spectacle to command respect, and the w T hole of--Chumpton would soon be splitting its sides over bis painful predicament What was to be done ? As his lordship wiped the cold dew from his agitated brow his haggard eyes suddenly fell upon a black object which was slowly approaching him on the cliff. It was a bath chair ! A sudden idea seized him. He would engage it, no matter at what cost, get inside, pull the apron over his legs and be dragged to a hosier’s and a bootmaker’s in town. And having equipped himself he could face the world again without a fear. It was a brilliant inspiration ! He hailed (he vehicle, and after some shouting—for the proprietor of the chair was as deaf as a post and half blind to boot—he explained what he wanted, arranged terms, and then settled himself inside. Arrived on the parade bis lordship was somewhat au-

uoyed to find a considerable crowd assembled, and his confusion became worse confounded when Lady Bakstares, accompanied by her smart offspring. swept down upon him and barred his passage. Assuming as cheerful a mien as possible under the decidedly trying circumstances, his lordship made a few hurried replies to the sympathetic greetings which were showered upon him.

" And now, ladies, if you will allow me,” he said presently in his best, clerical tones, *’ I will resume my journey to my hotel, where, I have no doubt, a slight repast is awaiting me.” Whereupon, to his further horror, the Ladies Bakstares unceremoniously hustled the venerable chairman out of the way, the Hon. Hilda seized the back of the vehicle and pushed, the Hon. Violet clutched the handle and pulled, and the Paulies Phyllis and Mabel, with their mamma, arranged themselves artistically on different sides of the vehicle. And in this manner they proceeded deliberately to the hotel.

For quite five minutes fear absolutely deprived his eloquent lordship ot the power of speech. The hotel was only distant a few yards, and when they arrived there what would happen ? He didn't know—he couldn’t guess. Would he have to get out before those live females, and tramp up the cold steps of the establishment with shame on his face, and nothing worth speaking about on his feet ? Perish the thought. Tinidea was absurd. He would die first. Come what might, he must remain in the bath-chair until some mode of escape presented itself. “ I don’t think I will go in just yet. he murmured huskily, “ the air is so delightfully bracing and ” “ Won’t you come round to the Public Hall and have a private view of (he fair with ns ?” whispered the fascinating Hilda with a gentle but significant emphasis on the last word. “ I should like to show you all the pretty things we have worked for the bazaar.” His lordship jumped at the suggestion as tt. drowning man clutches at a lifebuoy.

“ i shall be charmed,” he murmured indistinctly, “ if you will be my guide.” “ Oh, how supremely delightful,” cooed the Lady Hilda, with a slight but well-arranged blush mantling her fair cheeks. “ I do so want to show you my stall. It is built like a Swiss cottage, only, of course, of canvas and plaster ; but everything is just like the real thing. It is tlie prettiest stall in tin- fair—everybody says so.” “It, must be, I am sure,” groaned the Bishop with a ghastly smile, his thoughts wandering in other directions. “ Then yon will really come ?” He caught the I due eyes of the Lady Hilda as she bent over him, and be breathed an amorous “ Yes.” He might have added something further in the same strain had not his bare fool at that moment came in contact with a. nail, and caused him to give vent to a little gasp. Despite the pain, however. he felt decidedly happy. He grasped the situation, and saw that if he could but get out of bis awful position tin- capture of the beautiful Hilda would be only a question of a few hours. As soon as Ills chair came to a standstill at the door of the public ball bis spirits"once again sank to zero. “I unfortunately sprained my ankle getting into the (rain yesterday,” lie managed to blurt out, “and I am afraid I shall not lie aide to walk ” “ We shall be only too happy to wheel your lordship round the hall,” gushed Lady Bakstares effusively as sinsteered the chair into a courtyard by the side of the main entrance. “There is a private door here through which 1 think we can get your chair.” They managed the trick somehow, and the Bishop, trembling in every limb, found himself in an ante-room.

“ Now, you must let us leave you for a moment,” said Hilda archly as Begins and their mother vanished through another door, “ for we have a surprise in store for you, and it wants some arranging."’ Leave him for a few moments ! Oh, blessed words ! His courage revived in an instant, and he replied with a great and exceeding joy, “ Certainly ; by all means. Pray don’t hurry on my account. I am anile comfortable.” No sooner bad they disappeared, closing the door behind them, than his lordship jumped from his chair, and opening a third door, found himself in a passage, through which he hurried. There was :i ladder at the end of it leading to a trapdoor, and up tins he scrambled, determined to get out of the place somehow. Ho lauded in a species of loft, the windows of which commanded a secluded street in which—marvellous stroke of fortune !—there was a boot shop ! It be could only reach it. He made a dash forward, and then the floor seemed t«> quake, to shake, and finally to give way beneath him. There was a sound of ripping canvas and cracking wood and plaster, and he sank through almost up to his waist. He seized a beam and kept himself from sinking deeper, and as he kicked and struggled frenzied female screams fell upon his ears, and through an opening in the flooring be saw Lady Bakslares and the Ladies Hilda, Mabel. Phyllis, and Violet contemplating his waggling extremities with looks of horror and dismay. By a superhuman effort he dragged himself free, slipped from the window, dived into the sitop, purchased the first, pair of boots that came to hand, and hurried back to the hotel, where he sank exhausted into a -•hair, and endeavoured to arrange his i houghts. Had the Ladies Bakstares recognised his episcopal extremities V Dare he venture to appear at the opening ceremony and face it out V He pulled himself together, and resolved that, come what might, he would assume a collected mien and behave as if nothing had happened He trembled just a little as be entered the public ball at tbe appointed hour, and glanced anxiously at Lady Bakstares and her olive branches, who were assembled on the platform, but there was no sign that anything unusual had happened. His lordship heaved a sigh 0 f satisfaction and serenely proceeded to deliver his opening address.

“I am sorry that I had to leave yon so suddenly,” said his lordship afterwards as he discussed strawberries and cream with the fair Hilda in the rear of the repaired Swiss Cottage, “ but I had a most urgent and impoitant lettei to send to the Duke of Putney, who is restoring our chancel for us, so I trust your dear mother and your sisters, as well as yourself, will excuse my somewhat abrupt disappearance.” “ I am rather glad you did not come,” said Hilda in a whisper, ” for do you know what happened V No sooner had we got inside the hall when some horrid workman or something deliberately walked across the top of my Swiss cot-

tage and his legs came right through the roof. And—and ” here she turned her head modestly aside and concealed her face behind her fan. “ he—had bare feet. Wasn’t it shocking V” , ~ . , “ Dreadful. But ” his lordship s voice quivered just a little —“ didn t .\uu find out who it, was V” “No, we were too frightened. And when we summoned tip courage to look the dreadful creature had disappeared. Whereupon his lordship breathed a deep sigh of relief and “ Amen !”—“ London Figaro.”