Page 2 Advertisements Column 2

Western Star, Issue 1548, 28 March 1891, Page 2 (Supplement)

A Good Reason—A woman called at the police station the other day to report that her husband was missing and she feared the very worst." - .„ , . "Don'tthink he's dead, do you2" asked the Sergeant. " Yes, I do." " Why 1" " Because he left home without cuffing any of the children or threatening to break my neck if I didn't hand out half a crown. _ I tell yon he was under some strange influence." Straight Goods. within an hour ?" asked a Geelong man of a farmer standing at his gate, ii Yes." " Man with a black horse I" " No; man with a white hosa." " Wasn't a tin peddler, was he ?" _ , «' Oh, no. He was the editor of an agricultural paper." " How do you know that 1" " Because he came out on purpose to ask me whether potatoe planting or corn cutting come fust. He's started a new paper and wants to get things reliable." "Per Annum."—"Boss, Ize a bit confused 'bout 'suthin'," said.one of the negro whitewashers at the market to a detective the other day. "Well, what is it!" " What does per annum mean V\ « Per year, of course." " A hull y'ar." « Yes." " Can't be no mistake." " No sir." , , , "IflborrylOs of Abraham Johnson an agree to pay twenty per cent, per annum dat means one sbillin' a y'ar, does it?" " It does." " Hu I Dar's gwine to be de biggest row in Kaintuck to-night you eber hearn tell of V "About what?" ■ , •• About dat per annum. I borryea 10s ot de pussion menshuned at twenty per cent per annum, an' fur de las'fo'teen months he's bin collectin' one shillin'a weekasngu. lar as a clock. Stuck right to it, he. did, dat per annum meant ebery Saturday night. Lawd I but when I gitdese yerepaws on him won't per annum take a flop ! What Ee Wanted for a Birthday Gift —"My dear, I have been trying to think of something lovely to give you for a birthday present," said a fond wife to her devoted husband recently "You know there are so many things that it is hard to select, so I have made out a little list. Just dance over and cross off anything you don t not occurred to me." This was the canary bird, a King Charles spaniel, a carpet sweeper, a plush-covered perfume satchel, a box of monogram society stationery, and a Turkish rug for our bed-room." The wretch read it over and returned it with the following additions : " A new bustle, a pair of diamond earrings and a ladies' work-basket." A Great Country.-An Irishman, writing to his wife, who was still in ould Ireland," began his letter by making the following statement: — •' It is a foine counthry, Bridget, an' nc mistake. I've this day put phwat they call an inshoorance on me loife, an' if I'd fall down a ladder wid me hod an' break me neck to-morry, begorra an' I get £5 a wake oa long as I'm dead. It's a foine country; that phwat it is."

A Costly Waggon—A family waggon belonging to one of a wealthy tribe of gypsies is a very costly affair. Its interior is fitted up in Oriental splendor, with rich gilt carvings and inlaid wood designs, and siimptuously upholstered. The accommodations arc arranged somewhat after the plan of the Pullman sleeping coach. Large plate glass windows swinging on hinges and provided with heavy raw silk curtains, are on the sides, and a stained glass window ornaments the rear. These waggons, of which there are five, are for women and children. The kitchen utensils are carried under the waggons, and all the cooking is done in the open air. The temperate, sanitary, out-door life of these icople is conducive to good health, and sickicss among them while on their traveii ia an unusual thing. K.