Circumstances Alter Matters.

Western Star, Issue 1548, 28 March 1891, Page 2 (Supplement)

Circumstances Alter Matters.

What is so fair as a lane in June, A leafy, my si", }°J* 1 * *%f' tune When the joyous birds are aUat u ne And dreamy shadows wax and wane t But all of beauty was not there Until she wandered down alone A eleam of sun aslant her hair_ " My best girl, but not yet my own. Tn *hp leafv shade that afternoon 9 Ibreathed my humble heartfelt prayer. What is so daTk as a lane in June When" No "is softly answered there 7

It Looked Easy.-" I ""jJ^JJft once to step off a moving tramcar, said a lady in conversation with a friend. '• Did you get a fall?" "No I heard my husband say that yon mußt iump off in the direction in which the Jar iaS, and as it reached the place where I wanted to stop I just skipped out as if 1 had been accustomed to it. "Was it aa difficult as you supposed? "It was ten times harder. Iran a few steps, and it seemed to me that the whole planet was turning round. I sprawled all over to keep from falling, and when I struck thefootway'l nearly knocked^wamen£ow> who were passing, in my attempt to preserve an equilibrium. As I reeledawajg Heard one of them exclaim, 'lt's a shame to JMa woman in such a condition in the pool c streets f She ought to be arrested/ I could not run after hira to explain matters, but 1 have never had the slightest .ambition to jump off a tramcar in motion since. Yet it does look so easy when'John does it., tSSBSSUi LTsttime in mortal dread of the operation of " having it out." He knocks at the door of a dentist. " Is the dentist in V "Yes, sir." ..„ " Oh I At what time does he go out/

" At three o'clock." " Very well; I'll call again at three. ' "Uncle John," said little Emily, "do you know that a baby that was fed on elephant's milk gained twenty pounds in a •' Nonsense I Impossible 1" Cncle John, and then asked: " Whose baby was it ?" „ ~ , v tt i„ " It was the elephant's baby," replied little Emily/ Police Magistrate: ''Did you see the beginning of this trouble V Witness: "Yes, sir; I saw the very commencement. It was about two years ago. " Two years ago 7" " Yes, sir. The parson said, « Wilt tbou have this man to be thy wedded husband V and she said, ' I will.'" Waiter : "But, sir, if you can't give me your name and address, how can I send you home V , . , Gueßt (considerably under the weather). " Do you know, I've forgotten everything. But say, I tell you, waiter, just read the directory through to me, and when you come to my name I'll tell you." At a provincial theatre, where Fanny Davenport was playing a tragic part, a very drunken man staggered down the aisle to a front seat in the orchestra. He watched the actress attentively, so much so that she caught his eye several times, and as she pronounced these words : "I can love you no longer," the man rose, put on his hat, bowed profoundly to Miss Davenport, and said, with much drunken gravity : " That settles it," and left the theatre. Among the passengers on the car. was an elderly lady and her pretty young niece, also a young gentleman. The train had passed through several tunnels, when the maiden aunt said: . " My dear, we are coming to a long vnnei; you had better sit over on this side." Pretty Niece : " No, auntie,Jast let me where I am. One more tunnel and lam engaged. " Excuse me, miss," said a young man to a lady who affects juvenility in head dress, " but your hair is all down." "Thank you," was the reply ; "possibly you have observed the same fact in connection with your moustache."