GENERAL POLITICS

Waipukurau Press, Volume XXX, Issue 275, 26 November 1935, Page 7

GENERAL POLITICS

MR DOOLEY’S VIEWS

ALSO HINNESSEY’S OUTLOOK

Did you iver give serious attintion, Hinnessey ,'fio poly tics? Well, Misther Dooley, just lately loike, Give been tv.min the mathcr over in me moi|n,d. I dropt in to see ‘Mac’ last Choosdy, an he was st.hrippin the wall-jpiaper down in the parlour, an' I sed.. Are ye Lavin a spring ! eleaniin, ‘Mac?’ I am not, sez he, I am morin into another house. An thin we got into an argyment about the election, and whin he offered to bet me two whiskies that the Nationialists would be defeated, I took him up, as its so seldom that ‘Mac’ offers anythin, bub i|t made me think serious loike, so I’d loike your opinion on the matther, Dooley. Well, Hinnessey, it’s foolish to bet on an election, ye moight fluke a win on a horse race or a futball game, fyut in o election ye mro loikely to lose whichever way ye bet, an beiSoides, ye are compifljlin ‘Mac’ to vote for Labour or Demierait. Poly/t&cs, Hennessey, is the owldest game in the worrld/it was invented in the toime of Pharoah, an -was a thrivdn industhry before Julius Caesar went into long

pants. Twin's family politics, later that made Cleopatra fly to the arms of Julius, and started her out on her career of vampin. Whin Kipg John feigned .the Great Charter at Runnymede in 1215, he opered wide the dhure to moire poliltiicianis, an it had become a -skilled profession long before Napoleon crowned himself Em-y-ieTOr. Av e.oor,se, Nap had a way of his own for .sequrin votes, he didn’t have to go round kissin babies. Polyties is also the father of all games, an stnclucJesi the istrartegy io£ clhess, the tactics -of futba-K, the thrickery of rasttlin, the ehatin .and gambling that’s inMmnlt nin all card gaimes, an the un.scrupulousness of a bootleggin gang. Tt is the cause of all wars, an menny suicides art ad|ultherys an manslaughter.

There HAVE been boniest polytieians, buit they have niver been, a sthrikini.isuiccess .Ye can’t expect much from min who climb tio power on account of Oheiir ehlatrm’jn flow of gab, an their pious bedside manmer, if their h'ehd is only a hat rack am,d nothin elsid.

That’s right—Misther Dooley, but let’s get down to tip tacks, I want tio know, which Parley is .going to win the election. I wint to hear the Labour candidate, an he sefc his party is goih to give tos all jobs an. .pendhums, mind short hours, an health insurance, an guaranteed prices, .whin they get into power an get ip,os session alt the. Reserve Bank. An didd he make a good spac'foe, He did iso, Dooley, he pul up ia good argymint for the Dcmicrats, £ho I don’t suppose that he meant it that way, bedad. Now to sum up, what do Oi git. if the Labour Pa'-rty win? Ye will l&keily gilt all these promised gifts., an more, if tsomehow they can manipulate the Reserve Bank on the Guaranteed iptrices, an eoh.throl the outside markets, an ia few other impossible feats of seuHduggery. Well, Well, an how do I get on if

the Demicrats gif ith'eir party in? Ye will git the same things aS the Labour Party promise, excepfin that tis more loikely to happen, becos 'they ihtind to borry .the money to do if with. Well, thin., as a last resort, what do Oi get if the Nationalists are returned?

Ye’U igit‘ it, Hinnessey, where the dhicken got the axe, but any way, ye’ll win ‘She two whiskies from “Mae.”