The Kaiser’s Excursions.

Woodville Examiner, Volume XXVIII, Issue 4627, 7 May 1915, Page 2 (Supplement)

The Kaiser’s Excursions.

QUICK TOURS QUICKLY CANCELLED.

When Kaiser William started on his plan of quick excursions, He told his people they should have a Cook’s Tour of diversions ; Perhaps ’twas pride that swelled his head and puffed his smiling cheeks, Put, anyway, his programme said; “To Paris in Two Weeks!” But pride doth ever have a fall, and now it must bo owned His bills are covered with this lino : “Our Paris Trip Postponed!” Yet, not content with this set-back, another trip he planned out; He advertised it lavishly, and even had the band out. No thought of failure crossed his mind, his schemes could not be undone. And so he bade his people take a “ One Month’s Tour to London” ! But Thomas Atkins spoiled the plans, and pulverized them rightly; The German jaunt to London is “Deferred Indefinitely” ! Of course his people murmured when baulked of each* destination, So William set his wits to work to give them consolation. His latest bill was placarded on hoarding, wall, and panel; It said: “ A Dash for Calais!”_ and “Trips in the Knglish Channel !” But even that was not to be. The people and their Kaiser Are turning homewards to Berlin, poor, angry, tired —and wiser !