BREEZES

Wairarapa Daily Times, 1 July 1933, Page 4

BREEZES

Medals and Clasps. ' > , Should there be medals for true lovers? No. only clasps. . '/.■ ' * V.* * , * : ..y * ■ , His Trial! * ! v. f■- ' Judge: “Speeding, eh? How many times have you been in, front of me?” {Prisoner: “Never, yirar worship. I have tried many a time, but my car won’t touch sixty.” * * * *

Her Escape! . t When the lady gave the musician at the door a coin, slie remarked: “(But you haven’t played anything on your trombone yet.” " "V “Lady, I’d have played that if you hadn’t given me any money.”

Slump in Violins. -» Violins are fetching 2d each in Schoenbach, a Bohemian town famous for their manufacture. The' slump is due to the fact that Russia and other countries, Which took most of • the town’s output, have ceased to be customers.

Herrings Stranded. On a recent afternoon both banks of the Piako .‘River.adjacent to the Pipiroa ferry were white with stranded herrings as the tide receded. An explanation given was that the intense cold had driven the fish to the mud on the banks” and they were left high and', dry: as the tide went out. By the next afternoon the seagulls had almost completed their royal feast, and) few signs were left of the .stranded fish. » * * * A Tooth that Strayed. An artificial tooth was removed from beneath the scalp of a resident of Palmerston North about a fortnight ago. It had been there about 35 years without his knowing it. The man, who formerly lived ait New Plymouth, was 35 years ago involved in a head-on collision while playing Rugby for Tukapa against Stratford. Both footballers suffered head and facial injuries, and were taken from the field unconscious. The match was played at Stratford. The players received attention and recovered. Since then, however, the Tukapa player, a forward, has experienced at intervals pains in the head. It was thought that they were just, headaches, and no further notice was taken, , but about a fortnight ago lie felt a very prominent lump on liis head. He immediately went to the doctor, but, like his patient, the doctor could not make out the cause of the lump. A minor operation disclosed a tooth embedded in the skull.

Breach of Tapu. Muzzle-loading , revolvers,. ammunition, Maori curios, greenstone and bunches of rare feathers of the huia were found in a cave in a North Auckland district recently. There were ‘two caves in the locality, and they are regarded by the Maoris as tapu. Recently a party was organised, and with the aid of a rope over a steep cliff-face, the first, cave was reached. After a. little digging the store of old weapons was unearthed, and exploratrogi: .brought to light maify interesting things. Human bones were strewn on the floor. Arrangements have been made to visit the second cave. [Representatives of Te Akiarana Maori Association in Auckland commented strongly on the matter, and said that .it was pure desecration to disturb Maori burial places. All the burial places were well known to the old Maoris, but because they had been declared tapu had never been molested. It was customary to keep them as secret as possible owing ,to the fear of violation. Great resentment was, felt by the Maoris at the pre-sent-day tendency, even by accredited scientific bodies, ito search old native burial grounds for curios. The fact that liuia feathers were reported to have been found showed that the grave was not an old one. One of the Te Akarana representatives succinctly put the native viewpoint when lie said: • “What would be said if Maoris went and desecrated European graves ? ’ ’ * * * * Humorous Pensioners.

Life 'has its compensations at the British Ministry of Pensions.. These are some of the sentences received from applicants at the pensions office: —“I am writing to tell you that my baby was born two years old. When de 1get his money?’’ “Will you mtake enquiries about- my money which is due to me as I was sick on Mr Lloyd George for ten days through no fault of my own.” Another reads like one of those puzzles about: “If my father’s sister were ray brother’s son.” 'Tills is it: “My sister died, leaving two! children, -ai boy and a girl. The boy is my nephew and the girl is my niece', and I am uncle to both of them. ” A radiant widow wrote: “I want the congratulation money on the death of my husband,” and another happy widow penned the sentence: “I am glad to say that my husband who was reported missung is now killed.” The turning of a goat into a handsome young man by witchcraft should be nothing much to the Ministry, for a mother writes: “You have changed my little boy into a girl. Will (it make any difference?” This came from a mother whose wandering boy was lost: “Any inflammation you can give me about mv son will be depreciated.” One of.the most startling missives’ever received at the Ministry Was the laconic: “This is my eighth child. What are you going to do-about it?” . '