BREEZES

Wairarapa Daily Times, 23 January 1932, Page 4

BREEZES

The Remedy. Customer: Can’t find my wife anywhere. What shall I do,

Shopwalker: Just start talking to our pretty assistant over there. * * * *

Her Reward.

Mrs Newlywed was trying, to “work” her hubby for a new fur coat, and with that end in view had prepared a “special” meal. “Darling,” she cooed, as they were seated at dinner, “what will I get if I cook you a meal like this every day for a month?”

“My life insurance,” hubby replied grimly. * *

Empty Gaols,

With the closing down of Portsmouth Prison, only half of the 56 gaols open in Britain in 1914 are now in use. “It isn’t because serious crime is on the decline that gaols are up for sale,” a prison official stated. “Crime, in point of fact, is on the increase. But what is happening is that in respect of many indictable offences fines and terms of probation are now imposed, and petty misdemeanours are being treatd moie leniently. Apart from this, the economy effected is substantial. I hear that Pentonvillo will put up the shutters, too, if an adequate offer is made.” * * * * Working for his Bread.

Working aS a waiter and occasionally taking on the chef’s job in a bright little cafe in Shaftesbury Avenue, London, is a man who is the great-grand-son of the third Baron Auckland, and who is in the line of succession of the present Lord Auckland. He is Mr Robert Anneslev Eden, and he told his story while serving lunch. “I was educated at Bowden College, Manchester,” he saul, ''and just as I left there m\ grandparents died and as they had brought me up I was left to earn my living as best I could. My first job was a domestic one, where I helped in the cooking and housework generally, and for my services I was paid the magnificent- sum of 10/- a week. Then I managed to get. a job as secretary - companion, and in that capacity I ha\e travelled over most of the world. Two months ago I decided that a little dining room might be a paying proposition, so a friend and I opened tins place. At first I did most of the cooking myself and rushed round the tables, too, but as business picked up we got a chef and I attended to the waiting.”

Some Sayings.

It is said that physics buds off a new science every ten years. —Lord Rutherford.

The theatre is the home of . romance and glamour, not of reality.—Mr Fred Terry.

Too many women are the slaves of fashion, and too many men are the slaves of women. —Mr Justice McCardie.

A nation of grumbling fellows we have always been, and, please God, we always shall—Mr Baldwin.

I did not become an actor because of any urge to express myself artistically. I wanted to be able to express myself financially.—Mr Ronald Colman.

If ever education has failed, the reason is that given by Bob Sawyer concerning his hot punch cure, because the patient fell into the vulgar error of not taking enough of it.—Prince George. * * * *

The country has got rid of absolute monarchs because they claimed the right to tax' the people, without their consent, and the House of Commons should not replace absolute monarchs by absolute Ministers.—Mr Morgan Jones, M.P.