OUR BABIES

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 278, 24 November 1936, Page 2

OUR BABIES

THE OBEDIENT CHILD. In quoting the following address from the Engl.sh journal, Mother and Child, we hope it will prove both interesting and instructive to our read;crs:— Introductory Note. I "Of all problems of parentcraft, that ol leaching a child 'to do what lie is told’ is one of the most dillicult and most important. We are often assured that unquestioning obedience, based on fear, was the rule in households of the Victorian era. This generation is probably far from accurate, and it is time some one took up the cudgel on behalf ot the Victorian parents, who lacked neither affection i for nor understanding of their children. Be that, as it may, the pendulum has now apparently swung in the other direction, and parents of today are more inclined to ask of themselves how little obedience, rather than how much they should expect from their children. There is no kindness in releasing a child from all need to obey instructions. For the sake of the welfare of all members of any community--lower animals as well as human beings—are required to obey certain rules. It is right for a parent to insist on obedience where the few really important things are concerned, though it is wrong to set up a tyranny of petty rules which the child is expected to obey without question. It is dangerous to cow a child into obedience. The cowed child cannot acquire independence, which is so necessary to happiness in adult life; he cannot think for himself. Subject Matter. Many a mother worries when her toddler will not do as he is told. She wonders whether she ought to be very stern with him for his naughtiness or to take no notice of it. It is not always easy for her to know the best way to deal with him. It may comfort her to know that sometimes, when he seems to be very perverse, he is not really being naughty 'on purpose.’ A mother who expects her little child to obey her always, without question, is bound to be disappointed. Indeed, it is not wise to expect unfailing obedience from a toddler of two or three years old for several reasons. For example, the toddler sometimes does not understand what his mother wants him to do. He is very young—too young to know why he should obey his mother. The Important Things. “It is never a good plan to nag at a little child in order to make him obey you. q’here are a great many things that do not matter very much—do not worry about such little things. Do not make lots of rules about them and worry if those rules are not kept. But there are a few important things, and it is right for mother to expect obedience from her child always in those important matters. Here are some of the important things:— “1. Going to bed at a regular hour and getting up at a regular hour. "2. Eating meals regularly. “3. Going to the lavatory regularly.

"4. Tidying away his playthings. "5. Never playing out in the street or the road where traffic is dangerous. "Decide in your own mind what things you think are important. Keep them very clearly before you, and always expect your toddler to obey in i those th ngs. Do not gwe way or be | slack in your expectations one day and j tighten up the rules the next. It is a tremendous help to the little child to know where he is with life. Capricious, uncertain treatment bewilders him, and very naturally makes him more inclined to go his own way than the way his mother thinks he ought to SO. "Sometimes a mother asks her child to do something and then forgets all about it. She does not remember to see that what she has asked has been done. The result is that the child soon learns that he need not trouble to obey, because mother does not notice whether he obeys qr not.

Why Does He Not Obey? "Do not punish a child for disobeying. First find out what lies at the back of his disobedience. He may not have heard you speak—either because ' he was too much engrossed in what he I was doing to pay any attention, or for some other reason. In any case, it is very rarely wise to ‘punish’ in the ordinary sense. To 'manage' is a much better way of dealing with a child. "Here is yet another possible reason for disobedience. A little child is often disobedient when he is tired. A t>»d child can scarcely help being and cantankerous. Make sure 'Kat your toddler gets his afternoon (/vjtp regularly every day, that he goe, to bed early and at the same time every day." (To be concluded next week.)