HAPPY THOUGH MARRIED

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 74, Issue 191, 14 August 1931, Page 12

HAPPY THOUGH MARRIED

I DL'NMOW FLITCH TRIAL COMEDY IN A ' COURT.’ ’ WINNING COUPLE’S FELICITY. ' With the time-honoured ceremonial • and banter, three couples underwent ■ the ordeal of trial for the historic Dun" • mow Flitch at Ilford,, England, re--1 cently. There were two flitches for ! disposal, but premier honours were ' awarded to Mr. and Mrs. Joseph ' Hands, of Dunwich. Mr. Hands is a • Vauxhall schoolmaster. The other claimants were Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Lillis, of Forest Gate, and i Mr. and Mrs. Harold Camp, of Seven Kings. Mr. Lillis is an engineer in the , telephone service, and Mr. Camp is a ; civil servant. The jury of six spinsters and six i bachelors, in giving verdict, decided I that the latter two couples were so i evenly matched that the remaining ; flitch should be shared between them, land this was agreed to by the ‘ ‘ judge,” 1 Sir James Connolly, who sat in a marj quee in the Gordon Club grounds in a I full wig end thick, fur-trimmed gown, i There were amusing passages between the ♦counsel for the flitch and the claimants. The flitch counsel were Mr. Joseph Toole, M.P., Mr. F. Lincoln, barrister, and Dr. W. J. O’Donovan. Their legal opponents were Comdr. J. M. Kenworthy, M.P., the Rev. Herbert Dunnieo, Deputy-Speaker of the House iof Commons, and Mr. J. T. Molony, j barrister. The first couple to “come up for trial’’ were Mr. and Mrs. Lillis, who are of middle age. Mr. Lillis’ evidence about his happy married life was accompanied throughout by chuckleseverything made him laugh, even the suggestion that he had perjured himself “before this Royal and Ancient Coutt. ’’ Meanwhile, Mrs. Lillis sat nodding emphatically to every word ; from her husband about their happi- ; ness. Then came the turn of Mr. and Mrs. Hands to testify in the sackcloth covered witness-box. Mr. Hands declared he had seven children, and was married 19 years ago on a Whit-Monday. “What does your wife do in her ; spare time?” asked Mr. Toole. “She spends all her time looking . for spare time,” replied Mr. Hands. Mr. Hands’ favourite author is ■ Lamb, and two other authors menI tioned by him were Francis Bavon and j John Drinkwater. “ I suggest you are | a man who is fond of eating,” r& marked Mr. Toole. “Al your authors ’ have to do with eating and drinking.” ! Mrs. Hands’ first name is Ethelreda. i “What do yon call her in private?” ■; queried counsel. “Do you want me to i call you what I call her privately? responded Mr. Hands, amid laughter. Mrs. Camp revealed that she is a Fhenchwoman. “I crossed the water to marry my husband, but it has not I been unlucky,” she stated. “How ■ long has Mr. Camp been in your I camp/’ asked Mr. Toole. Since 1913,” replied Mrs. Camp. Mr. Camp confessed that his one ’ hobby was “putting out the milk I bottles at night.” “And do you ar- ■ rive home in tinjp to take them in in i the morning?” aslced counsel. ? Comdr. Kenworthy pleaded for Mr. | and Mrs Camp. If the flitch were i awarded to them it would, he urged, ; be a recognition of a special kind of ■ entente cordiale. I At the close of the trial the Rev. • Herbert Dunnieo declared that there I was no bad feeling between Ilford and • Dunmow over the fact that the flitch ‘ trial was now being heard at Ilford. j ■■■--=