Miscellaneous.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2090, 8 July 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

Miscellaneous.

Kilty Malone. “ Its tellin’ my story, ye're askin' 1 Sliure, miss, there is little to tell; The children are down wid the fay ver, And mesilf, 1 am not over well. “ Where's Pat ? Shure now ye are taysin’; Who knows, when a man is away ? The women must bide wid the babbies, And nivcr be idle nor play. “ Out of work '! Shure ye are right, miss, Not a bap'orth he's done for a year. Oit along, is it? Why, ’tis the washin' And scrnbbin' that kapcs ns all here, “ Ye see, miss, when Pat is a slaypin' So swate, and a drainin' of heaven, Why, I tend the babbies and washes For you folks in two twenty-seven. “ And thin, I’ll be mindin' the childcr, The fayver is hard on ’em, dear - What's ailin' the likes of ye, lady ? Yer swate eyes is wet wid a tear 1 “ Ye see, as 1 said, while Pat's slaypin', I'm aimin’ our pennies for bread, Or givin’ a sup to poor Johnnie, Or puttin’ the babby to bed. 41 It keeps me that busy I never Know whether it fains or it snows, Quit washin’ 1 Why, bless ye, dear lady, These poor little lambs would be froze. 11 And Pat is that fond of me, lady, 'Twould make ye to smile, could ye see How he'll coax for a bit of terbaccy, And hangs round the likes of poor me. 41 Make him work 1 Now, my lady, ye’re foolin’— Do you think he could stand at the tub, And wring out the clothes for the gentry 7 Or go down on his knees for to scrub ? 44 Pat’s a very fine man, thin, my lady, Does he drink 1 Shure never a drop. He is aisy, my Pat, and he tells me, Shure, Kit, you will never give up, 44 And no more will I thin, while my babbies Creep around on this old cabin floor; And Pat, he jist smokes so continted, And throws me a smack at the door, 44 Down-hearted 1 Oh, bless ye, swate lady, There’s times when I can’t spake a prayer, The babbies mayhap wantin’ breakfast, And me not a crust for the pair. 44 0r the meal, maybe, gone from the cupboard, Or the landlord has asked for bis rint, Oh, my heart goes down like a stone, miss, And me not ownin' a cint. 44 And Pat 1 Oh, he jist goes away, thin— Men cannot bide trouble at home— And I ? Well, dear, Kitty McCarthy Was gayer nor Kitty Malone."

Oh, tender and true-hearted womanhood, Whether found in palace or cot, What knows the world of thy virtues 7 How soon thy toil is forgot I On the roll ol the army of martyrs, Write a name—on a pure white stone; Only God and the angels know thee, Poor, battle-scarred Kitty Malone I

Inquisitive Passengers ask nonsensical questions sometimes,” said nn engineer. “ And the" interesting part of it is they think an engineer bos plenty ol time to sit down and go fully into details, even though the conductor be waving his band to pull out of a station. I’ve bad passengers come up, ask me how much my engine could pull and how many horse-power she is ; whether I ever get too much steam on ; what I would do if I ran off the track, and after inquiring the time, ask bow soon th: train starts.

“ Now, in considering how much an engine can pull, you must figure on grades whether a rail is dry, slippery or wet, whether the weather is hot or cold, whether your boiler is a good steamer—well, half a dozen other questions enter into it. Plenty of time, isn't there, to spread these things out before curious passengers 7 When they ask what I do when off the track, I generally say, ‘ I get on again.’ Then they get mad, and say they’ll complain of my insolence to the conductor.

“ The women are the worst. They will want to know how often the driving wheels turn round in a mile, why the reverse lever rod connecting with the rocker arm is only on one side,is steam generated in the cylinders or in the box below the cab I Where does the smoke come from that gets out of the stack ? Is that engine very heavy ? Then women will want to ride on the engine cab or on the pilot. And if you don’t let them they get mad and say, ‘ You’re awful mean.’ *• Au old man wanted to know one day what those things were that kept flipping back and forth under engines as they ran. 1 told him they were the links. He looked wise for a moment, and then said ‘Sho I’ Presently he wanted to know what they were for, and I told him to regulate the valves. Then he said ‘ Sho I’ again. Well, I must have explained to that old duffer for five minutes, and about every sentence he’d say 1 Sho 1’ or ‘ Du tell 1' When I got through be knew just about as much as he did before.

A Liquor Drinking Dog.-There is a very funny dog in Chicago. He belongs to a saloon keeper and his most remarkable trait is bis inordinate passion for strong drink. He loves his toddy, and be appears regularly at 7 o’clock each morning to have two fingers of forty rod whiskey poured down his throat through a funnel. This is a bad failing for a dog, and no attempt will be made here to extenuate bis fault. The example set to other dogs of an imitative disposition by a blear eyed cur, who walks with an unsteady step and smells of red liquor, is very demoralizing. This dog often gets drunk, and the effect of the liquor on him is nearly like its effects on man. He dances around at first and gives forth incoherent and unaccountable yelps, but after a few more drinks his eyes lose their fir?. He whines in a maudlin manner. His steps become unsteady. He is drank. He goes to sleep behind the stove, and awakens with a throbbing brain to take an application of cracked ice and to cool his fevered tongue with a cocktail, for all the world like a disreputable rounder.

An English Sparrow-—A young lady living in Lewiston vouches for the entire truth of the following singular statement of the in* telligence of the English sparrow, the incidents concerning herself, and known by every on,e in the bouse. The young lady lives in a boarding-house in Lewiston, and has so far daring the summer made an especial pet of one pert little English sparrow that has built a nest near the house. At first she fed it with crumbs in the door yard, and it came regularly each day for food. By degrees it became so attached to her that it followed her when she went to a neighbor's to call, and would chirp knowingly to her. The young lady went away on a visit the other day to White Rock, in Qorham, Cumberland County. The day following her arrival she was startled by the familiar chirp of an English sparrow and to to see her old pet circling about her for its daily crumbs. Each day, the young lady asserts, the bird appeared regularly for its food, and, on her return to Lewiston, made his appearance at the door, and comes now each day for food as before her departure. It is estimated that from 34,000 to 35,000 cubic miles of rain falls every year upon the surface of the globe. The rivers carry off barely one-half; the rest disappears by evaporation, by the absorption of the earth, and by being taken up by plants, animals, and mineral oxidation.

The life Of a large steel gun is claimed to be 200 rounds with full battering charges, and, as. the guns cost from € 15,000 to £75.000, according to size, the cost of the gun al-uie ,s thus, per charge, from C 75 to £375. The nation that goes to war with sueh e\|« nsive guns must, evidently “ go hung.’’