Good Stories

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2087, 1 July 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

Good Stories

nmtrrl Wiwiekl Scou wln.e he was Still at tbo !i<at • i ’.i-c aim; . e inv.iißout of hi* office one <'ay to enter his carriage. • cane in ban 1. At spl*; a.-oed bin with a letter. wh • -vi lieen«biv._ied to delirer t» General .! at once. 1 lie orderly, recking nothing of the adjutantgeneral* or chief* of staff, interpreted bta order liter»iW. and hastily (firing a careless salute, began’; “ Ob, general, here’s a paper I want yon to look at before too- —” ¥or a moment the old commander-in-chief seemed petrified. Then, raising his cane, he said in a load, clear mice ; "Clear oat, sir, clear out ottbe aray.” The startled orderly sprang to one ride, and the general got into his carriage aad was drive® away. The soldier then delivered bis letter to some one in the office, aad walked slowly out. General Scott’s carriage had not gone thirty rods before it stopped and turned about. The driver, raising his voice, summoned the offending orderly to the door. Trembling in every limb, cap in hand, he approached. General Scott asked his name and regiment. He gave them. “ Well, sir,” said the general “ report to yoor colonel that yon were guilty of gram disrespect to General Scott aa an officer, and that General Scott was guilty of disrespect to yon as a man. General Scott bega yoor pardon. Go to yoor duty, sir.”

Once a deputation of wholesale dealers in coffee waited on Mr. Gladstone, presented their humble petition, showing how chicory imperilled the British Constitution, and the advantages which would accrue to the revenue. The agitation ended by an augmentation of duty on chicory of one hundred per cent. There was a very good wire palled In this chicory business, which, of coarse, Mr. Gladstone knew nothing about. A clever importer of chicory entertained the idea of making a fortune at a single stroke, and he did it. It was this importer who had bought np all the chicory he could find, and had stored it away, paying the old low duty. Then the duty was increased one hundred per cent. According to his own statement, be made no less than serenty thousand pounds sterling, and just as much chicory went into an Englishman's cup of coffee as before. Sir Walter Scott and Pringle, of Whythbank, were in Paris together soon after Waterloo. Paris was very gay and crowded, the Emperor Mexander I. and a number of hre eating Russians being there. The two Scotchmen were asked to some ball given in honor of the Czar, where uniform was d» rlysesr, and Scott was rather in difficulties, till be bethought himself of his old yeomanry uniform, in which he accordingly appeared. Being, in the course of the evening, presented

to the Ciar of all the Ruaeias, who bad no idea as to who he was, that great potentate, •truck by a uniform quite strange to him, asked Scott, with some interest, in what engagements be bad taken part. Her eplied, with ready wit ; “La bataillede Crosecauseway, et I'affaire de Tranent.'' The Czar, too polite or too prond to show bis ignorance of these battles, bowed with grave courtesy, and said no more. Abby Folaom was a shouting Abolitionist, and as it was the bout of the Abolitionists that they bad a free platform, they found it almost impassible to keep her from their meetings. She was an intolerable nuisance, and would be heard. On one occuion she became so troublesome to the managers of the meeting, that these Abolitionists themselves could stand their “ free platform” no longer, and three of them, Wendell Phillips, bis brother-in-law. William A. White, and Oliver Johnson lifted her up in the chair in which she bad planted herself, and carried her out of the meeting. But she raised her voice above the tumult, and cried out: “I am more honoured than my Muter wu. He wu borne on one ass, and I am borne by three.”

WfcftPolk wu I’, - dent, the chair of the Senate wu occupied bv George M. Dallas, of Pennsylvania, the Vice-President. He vu urbane and courtly ; bis abundant hair, white u wool, wu a beautiful crown to bis graceful person ; and bis dignified, bigh-bred manner seemed to fit him peculiarly for his place. Here is one instance of bis good breeding. The State of Arkansu wu represented at the time by Messrs. Ashley and Sevier, who were in the habit of pronouncing its name differently—Arkansu and Arkao taw. In recognizing them upon the floor, Mr. Dallu never failed to say, “ The Senator from Arkansu,” or the “ Senator from Arkansas,” according to each man’s use of the accent. Senator Dawes does not pose as a humorist, but his wit is keen at times. During tbe boundary line controversy between Masuebusetts and Rhode Island, the subject came up at a dinner-table in Washington, and a Rhode Island member of Congress, waxing indignant over it, exclaimed to Mr, Dawes : “ Dawes, it’s a shame for Massachusetts to attempt to steal a part of Rhode Island—a confounded shame !” “ Don’t

make so much fuss about it,” retorted Dawes; '* if we should steal your whole State it would only be petty larceny, and a justice of the peace would have jurisdiction.” The story has just leaked out—perhaps not for the first time—of how the estrange■sent between the late A. T. Stewart and Mr. Travers arose. Mr. Stewart was presiding at a large banquet given by the merchants of New York, and Mr. Travers was a guest at the farther end of the table. When the coffee was brought on, Mr. Stewart rapped violently on the table to secure the attention of the company ; but Mr. Travers chose to give the signal another meaning, and the instant there was silence he piped nut from his end of the table : “ Ca-sh 1" The effect was electrical to every one but Mr. Stewart. One day a merchant, who bad done some missionary \\i.rk|in the slums of London, was talking to Mr. Kidcr, late publisher of Literary L>/f, on the subject of success in life. He did not pronounce his words very

clearly as he said toEidet, *■ A man who has

health, and strength, and God on bis side is sure to succeed." “ Those arc my sentiments to a T." said Elder, slapping his thigh ; -‘a

man with health, amt strength, and gall on bis side is sure to succeed every time 1” Thia i» the key-note of Elder's notoriety, the one wont *• gall."

Thomas Jefferson's compliments Lad an odor of Versailles about them. On one occasion a lady at an evening party called his attention to some flowersan her bosom, which were exotics but recently imported. Jefferson, admiring them greatly, inquired their name. She replied by giving their Linnasan designation. Dear me I " said he,“ I thought they were a new species of primrose." “Primrose, Mr. Jefferson 1 " “ Yes. madam, from the •now around them.”

General James B- Steedman was known

in northwestern Ohio as the hero of Cbickamauga. Steedman was the general of whom this story is told : As he rode into battle a com rads at his side said to him : " It is pretty hot in there, general. Possibly we may not return alive. If you fall and I survive, have von any word of message.’ ” The old warbone, without the least sign of feeling, replied ; “If I should fall, please see that my name is spelled right in the newspapers,” BoUn Allen, who is an observant young gentleman, was standing at the rear door of a Pullman coach the other day, when a dadkb young man with an impressive watchcharm came up, and, taking out his watch, secreted it under bis coat and began winding it up. The winding had continued perhaps a smote, when Bo bln, looking up suddenly, exclaimed : " Ob, yon needn't try to hide it; it’s a Waterbary ; I know the wind I” Tke following anecdote of Lincoln is well-Toaebedfor,aaapochrypbageneraltyarc: Lincoln set one day on the court-house steps a yoaag lawyer who bad lost a case—his only one— and looked very disconsolate. “ What has become of your case?" Lincoln aaked. “ Gone to hades," was tbe gloomy response. “ Well, don’t give it up,” Lincoln rejoined, cheerfully; “ vou can fry it again tkrre."