ADVICE TO MOTHERS

Waipa Post, Volume 32, Issue 1785, 22 July 1926, Page 6

ADVICE TO MOTHERS

DO NOT RIDICULE YOUTH. (Contributed.) “Don’t you ever write such utter rubbish again!” That, and a severe lecture were the warnings I received from my mother when I was unfortunate enough to drop a love-letter at the age of 13. It was. after a quarrel and a parting with my first sweetheart, and I ended the note ‘Your broken-hearted Jean.” Of course I was to blame for leaving the note about, but the ridicule I received taught me a lesson. Like most girls I had several more “affairs’ after that one, but never would I take my troubles or my joys to my mother. And many parents to-day make the same mistake.

Let them remember that ridicule will never kill the complaint, but it will quickly kill confidence and understanding so necessary between mother and daughter. These “affairs” must be treated with all maternal tenderness. Respect the immature romances, encourage confidence, and meet it with frank sympathy. Though you may laugh at the recurring casualties of calf-love, remember the little differences very real to the young lovers. It is no good telling them that in six months they will laugh at their own foolishness. No young lover will believe you. Why should,' they, for their hearts are temporarily broken! All who would heal hearts must have the truth fixed in their minds. Baden-Powell says of youths-—'“You many fall in love with one girl after another— desperately in love” . . . .

and most probably “after a few days have the most disastrous tragedy that ever happened to anyone.” He recommends bringing the girl or the boy home, and parents should facilitate this. Broken hearts are hidden because parents know nothing of these “affairs.” The whole campaign of youthful sweethearts is invariably carried on by subterfuge and subtlety. And it is the parents’ fault. Let the sweethearts he brought home. Encourage it. make it the natural thing to have girl friends as well as boy friends in the house. And watch the romances with an experienced eye. It is a great exception to find a first love proving fatal, but all calf-love affairs have the germ of friendship within them. A woman with a host of life-long friends told me that she had several mad “affairs” in her youth, but everyone had been the beginning of an abiding friendship. Let those mothers who would help, remember that there is safety in numbers. How much better it is for the young people to have a circle of friends openly at home than to conduct affairs secretly, while fool-' ish parents tell themselves that “Nora doesn’t run after boys!” You cannot heal young hearts if the tiff is the first you have heard of the “affairs,” and you will never hear of anything if you' ridicule and discount the very real tragedies of romantic youth. Encourage confidence, sympathise, and let time and sounder sense work the natural remedy. You will never he sorry that you kept their confidence when the real romance does come.