Tit Bits From Christchurch Truth.

Waipawa Mail, Volume XVII, Issue 2979, 5 October 1893, Page 3

Tit Bits From Christchurch Truth.

“ A coffee-house,” so Sir Robert Stout declares, “ is really a restaurant.” When a Martin’s Bay settler wants to pest a letter he has to travel fifty miles to do it. The Milton “ martyrs” continue the martyr business, but it is already getting a trifle stale. Sir Robert Stout says : “ If you compel the assistants at country stores to take a half I'oliday, where are they to go ?” Mr Buckland, M.H.R., thinks there is nothing more conducive to a holiday than the power of “purchasing fruit and cakes.” And ale ? A watch is said to tick 157,680,000 times in a year. It, of course, depends whether a man carries and winds up his own watch or deposits it at his uncle’s. Primate Hadficld was ordained in 1838, came to New Zealand in the some year as a missionary to the Maoris, and retained I that billet for thirty-one years. Ho is supposed to be a wealthy man. The Sydney Town and Country Journal puts the quack medicine advertisements ind the sermons ou the same pago. It is therefore very difficult to discover where Jacob’s oil leaves off and Jeremiah commences. Sydenham Taylor claims that even if he dots not understand plain English, he itil comprehends “ the common vernacular.” Good old Sydenham ! A correspondent writes to us:—“ How Ouch per gallon of Christchurch milk is Alliterated?” We don’t know, but we ue making enquiries to ascertain how ®ucb Christchurch water is adulterated Ath milk. How about the Ballance testimonial ? Auckland wants a scholarship, Wellington ■ monument. What good can a monument do Mr lallanco or even his memory, while l scholarship would keep that memory peea until New Zealand is conquered by the Chinese.

According to the estimates the maintontoce of our lunatic asylums, exclusive, of ■Airies, will be for the official year £21,560, *hile salaries will be £21,000. In other •orris salaries swallow up as much as the lunatics. But Mr Reeves deprecates I toEqulry into the administration of these j ■■yloms. Mr W. P. Reeves thinks that the alleged Criminal Code Bill should be passed “ with °De or two modifications, so that we may •uewhat our criminal law is, and in future JUirs may be able to deal with this ques“on of reform.” We thought W. P. was ■lawyer, and therefore knew all about toe law 1 Wellington man sued a neighbor the j/her flay for the value of a lawn mower, the defence was that the plaintiff . 6Ver lent him a lawn mower, that the IWn mower was already broken when it *■■ lent to latter, and that be returned t® luwn mower whole when he took it “ And,” said the defendant, “ I am “y to swear to these three statements.’ ujk® London Trades Council is appealfj for funds to assist the miners on * e - It is stated that many thousands •omen and children are starving, their 7 food being raw potatoes. The coal . ne .[ B (mve issued a manifesto offering the matter to arbitration. They kali j it 1 th ®y only desire that wages follow prices.