His Love Worth Even more.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1905, 18 June 1892, Page 2 (Supplement)

His Love Worth Even more.

''Clara," he exclaimed, laying his hand upon bis oardiao region, " I have loijj looked forward to this opportunity to tell you that I love you with all .the ardor of a nature free from guile and duplicity. Say tbe little word, Clara, which shall make me the happiest of men. Or if your maiden modesty eeals your ruby lips, givo me some little keepsake which shall mutely say that my love is returned, and whioh shall be a constant reminder of this, my hoar of happiness. But stay I Let it be one oi your golden tresses— just one lock of your fragrant hair." Clara blushed, and seeing that George took up the scissors from the table, she murmL/ed: '• Nay, George, never mind the scissors ; here it is (and she removed an affluent switch) ; take it. It cost me two guineas, but such love as yours is worth far more than that." A household word— Mortgage; A feather duster — Tho oarriex pigeon. Returned with thanks— Graoe before raea*. Jack : » Shall I kiss you ?" Nelly : «Do it if you dare." Personal intelligence — That wbioh keeps us from reading the trash so headed. "iYhiney: "L^t's have a shilling's worth of oourt plaster." Druggist : " All right. Been buying a bicycle?" "No, lam shaving myself." M'Ookkle : " Isn't Brigge notnrally a lazy man ?" M 'Crackle : " Not exactly lazy ; but he seems to think it is unhealthy to work between meals." A kiss is said to ba something which " comes by male, but never by post." This is an error ; we have often known kisses to come by the gate post. From the number of honeymoons that are actually spent in Europe we are moved to remark that the ocean has been frequently crossed in love. Whipper : " Our young friend Soadda seems to have a great desire to shine in society." Snapper : "My idea is that his ambition is to shin into society 1" Proprietor (of oheap restaurant) : " Yes, I want to hire a man. Are you willing to do any kind of work ?" Applicant : " Oh, yeß ; I am perfectly willing to do any work but eat here, sir." Mary : " Mebby I'm ugly now, mum, but in me day I've broken a great many hearts." Mistress : " Well, Mary, if you handle hearts the way you do my best china, I believe you." Mrs. Snoozers (at a grocery store): " L^nd alive 1 What are you going to do, Mr. Greengoods, with all those coops of chickens 1" Mr. Greengoods : " A great scheme of mine. Eggs laid while you wait, you know. I'm tired of the kicks against my eggs." Doctor (entering the room of an ague patient) : " Well, have you taken the medicine I left?" Patient: "Not yet, doctor." •« How's that?" " Why, I am only following instructions on the bottle. 'Shake well before taking," and I haven't finished Bhaking ytt." The Coukt (in a breaoh of promise oase) : " What iB your age, madam ?" The plaintiff: "Must I answer?" "You must." " Why, judge, I thought people didn't have to testify against themselves 1" WNES B"E A SPINSTER. The girls, since first the world began, Have always sought th' ideal man ; But when they captured their ideal They found him more ideal than real. Minister (talking about the tongue) : " Dearly beloved, it is a little thing, I know. But onoe let it burst its confines, and go wandering off, uncontrolled, and it will cause its owner untold trouble. And I—"I — " Crasher (waking up) : " What's ho talking about ?" Smasher : " I'm not quite sure, but I think it's a collar button."