Mrs. Geoheagan

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1870, 13 February 1892, Page 2 (Supplement)

Mrs. Geoheagan

"Be ye t 1 home, Mrs. O'Hara?" asked Mr?. Geoheagan, as she leaned over her back fence and looked into the widow's open

door. 20 " To be coorse Oi am, me darling" sa ; d the latter, appearing on the scene wiping her hands on her Bpron. " Pnwat d'ye want to borry this moruin' ? Sure, Oi am jist af thur being out ay tay, bud me wringer bee 3in gude repair." '■ G'lang wid ye now, Mra. O'Hara, fur divll a ting do Oi want to borry. It's yourself Oi want to be havm' a few moments oonwersashun wid over the fence."

" Wull, may the fates chase me ay Oi didn't tink ye wanted to borry somethin'. There bees me Bxe now ay ye wud loike to take it—"

"Oi tell ye, Mrs. O'Hara, Oi want fur nuthin'. It's on'y abute the surpraise parthy phwat we had at our bouße lasht noight that Oi kirn out here to tell yez abute."

"Ho, ho ! An wure that a surproise parthy over there lasht noight?"

"Wull, truth an' Oi tought, youse wus afther havin' a dawg foight, fur tbe noise you'se wus lettin' foorth, an' whin Oi sawn big Mick Monahan trow Moike O'Eourke through the windy, an' thin jump out on tap ay 'im, an' grind 'im in the sod, sure Oi' wasn't dead certain whither it wure ay dasent mm, or a matin' ay toofs. Whwat wure the ocoasion army bow?"

" It wure a Burproiso parthy in honor ay me burthday." replied Mre. Goeheagan with a look of pride, "an' ay Oi do soy so, Mrs. O'Hara, the affair wur as lum turn, an' richurshay as ye cud wull ax for. Lisht avenm' abute half pasht foive be the little nickleplated clock in the kitchen the ould mon kirn in, an' afther hangin' oop his dinner can, he turrund to me an 1 eez he ' Mary Ann,' sez he, • to-day ye are jist wan year older than ye wur at preooisely this touvo wan year agone.' 'Are ye crazy, Geoheagan V «i K'l. ' Divil a crazy am Oi, MCsiyM Csi y inn,' eez

"Wull, thin,' sez Oi, 'fur who» T c,* c mek sich a foolish remarruk as thot, &s if Oi didn't know, as wuil as you thot Oi am wan year older to-day than Oi wur last yer at this toime ?"

"Oi mane,' sez he, 'that this bees yer burthday, an' soom ay yer neighbor friends bees goin' to Eurproiee ye thiß noight, an' raise the divil ginerally.

1 An, fur whoy ?' ssz Oi. 'Fur whoy!' sea he, sure you ignorance wud toire the loikes ay a saint. To be sociable,' ye igit, te be socable,' sez he.

' An' whut shall Oi do,' sez Oi, beginnin' to feel scared.

• Dhress oop !' sez be. Put on that d .ycultay dhress, what laves yesthripped, loike as if ye wure goin' to inter the proiae ring, an' do yer hair oop wid wan ay thim little round jiggers on tap ay yer head, an' you will be all riddy to be surproised.'

" Wull, now, Mrs. O'Hara, do you know, sinoe moy son Edward, the jude told me that moy face wud open a jack pot, whativer that may be, Oi have had little heart to dhress oop, but whin Oi heard thot the neighbor folks wur coomin' in to surproise me, an' tbe ould mon tould me to put on me bare neok dhress, Oi wur thot tickled thot Oi kicked oop a dido, an' wint singin' abute me worruk as happy as a birrud. Abute siven o'clock the surproisers began to aroive, an' there Oi stood recavin' tbe coompany, all togged out in me daycultay dbress, an' a bit ay coort plashter stook over the wart phwat Oi bees bavin' on the back ay me neck. Big Mick Monaban kirn in fursht, a-ladin' Eosy Canaty be the hand, an' as Oi shuck hands wid him, the spalpeen paid me a complimint thot made me fale thot fccliah, thot Oi felt loike einkin' into the flure.

Sez he, 'Mrs. Geohtagan,' sez he, 'whin Oi fursht trun me oyos on ye, twinty odd yeara agone, ye didn't luck a day older than ye do to-day, 1 an' thin ivery wan laughed. But Mrs. O'Hara, ye ought to have sane the tings them' surproisers brought along to ate an' dhrink. Mick Monahan fetched a bottle ay pwhishey, an' Eosy Canaty had eiven barrud boiled eggs. They wu3 follied by Moike O'Eourke an' his woife, who also brought some p whisky, an' some doughnuts wid sugar sprinkled on them. Thin kirn Arty O'Mally an' Kitty Gilligan, wid some cowld ham an' a bottle ay phwisky. Thin kirn DinLy Brennan an' Biddy Eafferty, wid a pound ay shmokin' tobaccy, a jug ay phwisky an' a ooostard poi. Thin the door opened, an, there intereel Jimmy Murphy an' Mollie McCullie, wid their arrums full ay pois, baked beans an' other fruit, wid a bottle ay pwhisky to waßh it down wid. Oh, Oi'll niver forgit that noight. We spread the table, an' Arty O'Mally tuned oop his fiddle fur a dance, an' thin it wure that Monahan an' O'Rourke had the throuble. Ye see Mick comminced samplin' all the different brands of pwhisky as soon as he intered the house, an' it wure only a short toime whin he was goin abute the house wid his hat over his oye, luckin' fur some wan to scrap wid. O'Eourke axed me wud Oi honor him wid the fif/sht dance, an, Oi said wid pleasure, whin Monahan stips oop an' sez he to O'llourke, sez he :

• O'Eourke, Oi wus the f ursht to inter this house this noight an' Oi claim the honor ay this lady fur a partner, furthermore,' sez he, 'ay ye open yer face to make a kick, Oi shall be nedcessitated to give ye a tump in de troat. 1

O'Eourke did not heed the warnin 1 that Monahan gave him, bud turned to me fur sympathy, when Mick grabbed him be the scruff ay the pants, an' turn him trew de windy, an' thin jumped out on tap ay him. Then Mick kirn into the house agin' luckin' around fur another viotim, whin Mrs. O'Eourke wint at him wid the stove poker an' laid him out in the oorner. Wurra, Mrs. O'Hara but that wure the most rudest gang ay chumps that Oi wus iver trun in wid, Monahan wus jist regain in' his sinses, an' feelin' around to foind out pwhere he wus, whin Dinny Brennan wus called upon to make a speech. Dinny lepped upon a chair an' afther takin' a pull at a bottle to clear his troat, oomminoed :

'Ladies an' gintleman, idjs wid moooh proide that Oi rise before yes — ' The poor divll cud git no further for at this moment a coostard poi, trun be somewan in the back ay the room, hit him in the mouth, an' loam' his balance he fell back an' sat in Bosy Canaty's lap. This sort ay thing wua kept oop till abute two o'clock this mornin' an* thin all those who cud walk wint home. Mick Monaban, Dinny Brennan an' Jimmy Murphy wure that dhrunk that they cudn't B'.hand, an* we lift thim where they lay till daylight, wbin the ould mon tuck thim home. Ay Oi iver live to see another birthday, Mrs. O'Hara, ye kin bet yure swate loife that its not the loikes ay me who wull intertain another surproise parthy.