Turning the Tables.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1870, 13 February 1892, Page 2 (Supplement)

Turning the Tables.

" Ah, Put, my friend, they tell to me

You've donned the matrimonial chain ; All fools are thus not dead, I Bee." "No, sur," said Pat, you still remain."

Experiments with bearings of compressed vegetable parchment, instead of brass, are being made on Prussian railways. It is claimed that the material is very durable, tough and smooth, and v quires much less nil than metal. The bearings are in suoceesful use in a German saw mill.

Ih 1885 the world's production of zino amounted to 291,609 tons of 2.2401 b. each, 2.55,270 of whioa was obtained in Europe,and 26.339 in the United Statea.

Evolution— Tight boots make a conr; com makes whisky; whisky makes a man tioht.

Jones : " What are you doing now for a living ?" Smith : " I live by writing." " For the Press ?" " Oh, no ; I write to the old man twice a month to send me some more money."

Matjd : "This book on « health ' says young girls who wish to have bright eyes and rosy cheeks should take a tramp through the woods each morning before breakfast."

Gladys : " Suppose the tramp should object ?"