THE REASON WHY.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XVIII, Issue 1181, 19 September 1885, Page 3

THE REASON WHY.

Sandy and Pat have a talk and discover all about it. Sandy (seriously) : You know how we are told That if you do The good pursue, Nor sell your soul for gold, That when you shuffle off this mortal coil In bliisyouraoul will dwell, with praise for toil. Contorting with the devil ; That if you stray From good away And follow paths of evil, How torment's realms and tongues of lambent flumes Will be the price of your nefarious games. Pat (in fun) : Ob, yes, I fcbiDk that's true ; But still, 'twixt me and you, Now, don't you think each nigger Should try to be a sinner, Since such terrific heat To him would be a treat ? Sure ice and hail and rain and storm and snow Should puni-h him for naughty deeds below But now I am all attention, You were about to mention Sandy (still more seriously) : Well, Patrick, you must know That I peruke The daily news, And frightened I do grow When e'er I note, in spite of priest and parson, How men damnation seek by means of arson. My boy, you need not start ; Just for example Take a sample-— Don't agitate your heart — There's Elder Brown who ran that aoffc goods store, Built fifty years before it's time aad more ; Him Satan doth inspire : His store won't pay, He there can't stay, So then he lights a fire. Insurance gold he takes, thanks God in pew, And f risking off he clears to pastures new. Again, there's Jones' hotel : His whisky bad Would drive one mad, Your agitation quell ; He fiinds that Booth's Blue Ribbon Army takes Away his customers ; he cries, " By Jakes, I'll try what I can do, No water's sear 'Cept in my beer "; So then without ado He lights Ms fire ; in trout he dries some clothes ; Next morn the companies bewail more woes. Now, why, oh, Pat, I ask— Attention give, Long may you live, This is no easy task — Why, if man's (aught eternal fires to dread Here in this world he fears not flames to spread ? Pat (triumphantly) : I quick can answer you ; So listen now, And soon you'll vow , That what I say is true : The man who wilfully can burn his place Does nothing heavenly fear ; but in the race For wealth will lose his eoul. No fear deters, He risk incurs To pay to Mammon toll ; But, stay, there's still another reason why He cares not for eternal flames ; I'll try Td\how you what it is : He has no dread, P'rhaps he's read — Veracious too is this— No.flamei await the guilty soul's perdition, But Shedl's gloom ; just see Revised Edition. Vknator, Lawrence, 17th September, 1885.

. Whether the Panama Canal will ever supersede the trans-continental railroads as. a matt .route in a question that time and competition alone can solve, but it will be of none the less interest to know that, despite the carping critics, the latest reports of the progress of that stupendous undertaking are on the whole satisfactory. The annual report of the company has just been presented to the shareholders, and in it the great engineer reports his conviction that, from the stage progress has reached, tho canal will be opened, to the steamers of the world in the year 1888. The preliminary difficulties having been all successfully overcome, the output of excavation increases in volume every month, and M. De Lesseps affirms that half of the work necessary for cutting the isthmus has already been performed. The total cost of the work, when completed, will be, as now estimated, the nice little sum of £28,000,000 sterling.-Home correspondent "Daily Times." A popular writer laments the fact that poets are declining. It is different with poetß themselves. They lament the fact that the editors of magazines and newspapera are declining. For continuation oj New, see Fowih Page.'