BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume LXVI, Issue 20274, 7 April 1934, Page 13

BY THE WAY.

Some Collections and l Reflections. (BY ONE OF THE BOYS.) ' Looks as though Mr G. T. Baker's allegations are dough. 1‘: :‘3 2'! In regard to the controversy about calling England “Home." Not all do. Cockney Bill Calls it “'Ome." 2': 3': 3': She 'stood at Cashel Street corner and watched the changing lights. She hesitated several times, and at last the policeman became sympathetic. “ You can cross when the green light shows," he said. "I know." she replied, "but it does not go with my costume.” The talkie "Friday, the 13th," rev minds us that next Friday will be the 13th. Anybody thinking of getting ,married on that day can go on with it. in won't make any difference. l 2': 3 3 ‘ " Excuse me," said Mrs Brown to Mrs Smith, as they sat on the beach at New Brighton, “I notice you seem very nervous about the swimmers getting drowned, and yet y‘ou encouraged! your husband to go right out." 1 “That’s difierent,” said Mrs Smith} simply. “He is covered with the, ‘Star' insurance." 1 :-: 3 9: ‘ The St Albans Burgesses’ Associationi find a difficulty in carrying on. St Albans is not what it was. Twenty years ago to have a Thouse in St Albans meant success. The tall palmstand, the Venetian blinds and the piano meant social standing. Then came bungalows in new suburbs. St Albans faded with the passing of T. E. Taylor. Recently St Albans built 4 big bath. It was their last effort to be in the swim again. 3': 2': 3': . Some more appropriate golfing‘ drawsz—G. W. Bishop and A. C.‘ Par-l son, N. Stouppe and A. D. Neill, E. P.. Miller and S. W. Binns, A. E. Byme“ and A. T. F. Stokes, V. R. Hean and P. E. Bean, J. W. Lovell and J. Huglgins, J. Earl and C. A. Noble, W. L. tPartridge and H. W. Sparrow (they lshould get birdies), W. E. P. Butler and \E. C. Tipping, H. A. Penn and A. 5. IWright, H. S. Feast and W. Snack, G. ,T. Alley and P. Wratt, and H. G. G. lLyttle and J. Large. . 3 3 3' Thanks, Ermyntrude. We are glad our golfing advice was a great help to you last year. You ask what you should do if your opponent has lost her ball. The first thing to do is to ask her quickly, “Is it a. very good ball F” If she ignores your remark and starts poking around in the long grass,‘ say, "If it is the only ball you have, I can lend you one.” Whatever vou do, do not help her. Remark casually: “I lost a Bromiord there last week, but I did not trouble to look for it." If that does not move her, then play your trump card. Ask her: “Is it 3 gold-mounted one?" \ ' a 53 33 "I wonder whether Bernard will say how Christchurch reminds him of England?" I remarked to Ham last night. "It is very English," said Ham. “ We are busy at present sending Spanish onions to Canada and the eggs of‘ our Leghorns to London. Our wheat isl Tuscan and our cows Holsteins and Jerseys. We are famed for our halF bred Merinos. On the golf links we play Canadian foursomes and on the tennis cam-ts Yankee tournaments. Our Art Gallery was given by a M’Dougall, and we have a statue to 2. Scott on the river bank. and thew Mayor—he has the very English name elf—Sullivan.” " ' 3 3 :6 Today is ourAred-le‘tter day. ‘

For Bernard Shaw he comes this way. Not all the folks will cheer, alas! When G. B. S. this way does pass.

The barbers and the butchers scorning Will drape their shops in deepest

mourning, For vegetarians, and whiskers, Pall on our steel and scissor friskerS. But all the rest will raise a cheer

To know the mighty mind is here, A glance or two and he will, lo!

Tell us the better (he will know)— Port Christchurch or the Tunnel Road. From Archers brain he’ll lift the load, And say if one-man trams or buses Are best, and solve dis-rating fusses. And then, if he’s the time to spare, He’ll solve the riddle, clear the air, Tell us Waimairi golfers’ right To take that land—and say ** Goodnight.”