BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume XLIV, Issue 579, 8 October 1932, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

Some Collections and Reflections. (BY ONE OF THE BOYS.) Arrangements were made during the week to celebrate the arrival of the Pilgrims. One suggestion is to rename Christchurch “ The Pilgrims’ Progress.” It’s wonderful how one's inclinations affect one’s game at golf. When the city councillors played, M’Cully was best with the wood and Thurston with the iron, Johnny Archer hooked all his shots and Dan Sullivan was best on the greens. At the Public Service match all the players pulled their drive, but, of course, you need a pull there. The best example, however, was in the lawyers’ match at Shirley this week. Everyone sliced, but there is only one certainty at law. The lawyer will always have his slice. There is a train on which are employed three men. Smith, Jones and Robinson, who are fireman, engineer and conductor, but not respectively. On this train are three passengers named Mr Smith, Mr Jones and Mr Robinson. 1. Mr Robinson lives in Dunedin. 2. Mr Jones earns £SOO per annum. 3. Mr Smith beat the fireman at billiards. 4. The conductor lives at Timaru. 5. The passenger who is the conductor’s next door neighbour earns three times as much as the conductor, who earns £250 p.a. 6. The passenger with the same name as the conductor lives at Christchurch. What is the engineer’s name? This is a real conundrum and not mere nonsense. 3 3 M It is to be noted with regret that the authorities would not allow a boy to be suspended from an aeroplane. It was rotten luck. Billy Smiff of our street was among the applicants. He would have got it. We know Billy. He is the great firster. Washington was first in war, first in peace, first in the hearts of his countrymen. Billy is first in everything. The first boy in our suburb to open the cricket season with a ball through a window. The first to discover a tar pot and introduce the game of Kaffirs. He was the Great W r hite Chief. The first to discover an ordinary bath could make a boat and nearly drowned Mr Jones’s and our kid. The first to tie two cats’ tails together. Yes, it was rotten luck. We had planned to get Mr Mercer to cut the string w’hen Billy was a thousand feet up. Last night the Brown family sat peacefully round the fire. Willy started it. “ Dad, for summer time do you shift the clock forwards or back?” Ebenezer put down his paper. “ The clock is put back,” he said, “ because, say it is now seven o’clock, the clock would show half past six and there would be half an hour’s extra daylight. Hence the words: Daylight saving.” “ No.” said Mrs Brown, “ the clock is put forwards so that when it is five in the morning it is really half past four and so you get an extra half hour.” Ebenezer grunted disgustedly: “ How can you get an extra half hour at night in the morning?” he demanded. “ If you put the clock back it is really five in the morning when the clock shows half past four. Half an hour’s extra daylight.” Mrs Brown rose to her feet. “ I tell you that your half past six at night becomes half past four in the morning when it is really five. What you want is for it to be really half past four when the clock shows five o'clock.” “ But,” said Ebenezer, “if the clock shows five o’clock and it is only half past four, then the sun will have been up half an hour less than it used to be. How in thunder can you get half an hour extra daylight if you put the clock forward?” Mrs Brown thought for a while and gave in and the Brown alarm clock will go back to-night and what Mrs Brown will say when she gets to the church door to-morrow morning is not known. ,c Golf is a beautiful game,” said Ham last night. “ I have only seen one beautiful thing on a golf course,” I told him. “In verdure?” he asked. “ No, in beach pyjamas.” Ham frowned. “ Golf does teach the wonders of life,” he continued. “It teaches one to appreciate the landscape, vistas, glorious views. I went out to Waimairi—a friend took me—and there on their very high tee called Pacific—some humorist called it Salome because of the uninterrupted view’—l saw a scene that I w’ill never forget. Below could be seen each tee and happy golfers hurrying to and fro saying. “ Where the did that one go?” To the east lay miles of the sea beach. Just the place for practice shots early on Sunday morning. To the north could be seen the links of the Kaiapoi Domain and there amid the dim haze could be seen the Rangiora course. Looked south, and in all its loveliness Avondale was visible and further out the hills and dales of Richmond Ilill links. And then the best view of all—the Mecca of all golfers. Shirley. Where all hope to attain after they have robbed a bank. Shirley links before me! Even a glimpse of the club house! What feelings of reverence stirred. Ah! my friend, golf is not a game, it is a religion.”