BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume XLIV, Issue 63, 16 March 1931, Page 7

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) She was only a printer's daughter, but she had a bold # face. More water is used for making oceans than for anything else. Marriages are made in Heaven knows what kind of state of mind. Artists’ Model (awakening): Ah! ’Tis the dawn of another nude day. There are men who treat their wives like dogs except that the dogs don’t have to cook their own scones. “ Did that course in English help your boy friend any?” “ Not a -bit. He still ends every sentence with a proposition.” Dad: Son, I’m spanking }'ou because I love you. Son: Dad, I’d like to be big enough to return your love. “ Give me a little kiss,” he said, “ And I’ll take you for a ride.” He put his arm about her waist And she complied and complied and complied. “ What’s the difference between a Scotchman and a coconut?” “ You can get a drink out of a coconut.” Judge: Have you anything to say, prisoner, before I pass sentence? Prisoner: It takes very little to please me, your Honor. Gunman: Hands up, or I’ll blow out your brains. Escaped Lunatic: Hahahaha-haha-hahahahah. “ Give a sentence with the word ‘ diadem.’ ” “ People who drive on to railway crossings without looking diadem sight quicker than those who stop, look and listen.” “ And what is your father’s profession?” “ He is a worm imitator.” “ What?” “ He makes worm holes in antique furniture.” A roughie from Kaikoura was sawing away at the sinewy knee-joint of a fried chicken leg. The knife was sharp and he was athletic—he made but little headway. He waved his arm toward a bottle of sauce which stood on the table near his neighbour’s elbow. “ Pass the liniment, please, sir,” he requested, “ this sea-gull has rheumatism.”