BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 19154, 21 August 1930, Page 6

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS.

(By One of the Boys.) A horse is man's best friend until he bets on it. A “talking” film is to be made of the Navy. So it is no longer to be the Silent Service. The reason for the popularity of flying is plane. Prospective Maid: “Thirteen children! I’m afraid the place won't suit me.” Mistress: “Don’t be so superstitious.” Mistress: “Betty, have you seen Miss Joan’s fiance?” Betty: “No, Mum, it ain't bin in the wash vet.” “The cheap car is here to stay,” writes a motoring correspondent. But I prefer the car that will go. He: “So you don't want to marry me, Doris?” She: “That’s different. You said something about being yours for ever.” •* •** I think betting on horses is all wrong. Especially the way Cuthfcert does it. Dora: “But, mother, I can’t marry him. lie's an atheist and doesn’t believe there’s a hell.” Mother: “Go ahead and marry him, dear!” Customer: “The Louis XIV. l>ed you sold me is too small. Will you exchange it for a Louis XV?” “ The English bowlers failed to get the Australians’ wickets, although they tried over and over again.” Angry Lather: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? You’ve been learning for three years and you can only count up to ten. What will you do in life if you gc on like that?” Small Son: “Be a referee at boxing matches.” Boss: “I hope, J ones, that you save at least half what you earn.” Jones: “Well, I don’t get that much, sir.” a it Should the police visit the schools? The answer is emphatically “ Yes.” There is a school at Hornby that requires visiting—the “ two-up ” school in the plantation. So Dr Beeby isn't a medical man and psychology is a scientific subject. Well, well! A lady I knew was looking at the poster outside the Public Library on Monday night when I passed out. The poster said “ Practical Applications of Psychology by Dr Beeby. To-morrow night.” “ What is psychology,” she asked. “ I dunno,” I told her. “ I alwavs use hartshorn and oil,” she said. The following account of the test has been picked up with notes in brackets. On the cover of the note book is: Tommy Grcese. We print extracts, and the owner can have the same on application to the editor. “ Peebles found his length at last.” (Peebles is a Scotch bowler. His length is sft Bin.) “ Bradman lifted him to the boundary.” (This is in keeping with the Australian’s kindly character. He would give anyone a lift.) “ Kippax fell to a leg trap.” (Ah, how many others have fallen to a pretty leg.) “He was caught by Wyatt.” (That’s better than being caught by his wife.) “ Jackson was not too confident to Peebles.” (I don’t blame him. You don't want to tell a Scotch bowler all vour secrets, and it was just as well, for shortly after it says:) “Peebles beat him three times.** (The wretch, but Jackson got it back on him. for) “Jackson beautifully cut

Peebles a couple of times.” (Good <>l# Jackson.) “ A leg trap was laid for Bradman.” (Something spicy in silk. I suppose.) “ An# he was nearlv caught.” (Rut raft quite That was good. Doubtless a good upbringing saved Don. Ah, me! There are sermons even in a cricket match.)