DON’T PUT A BANDAGE ROUND THE CHILD’S GROWING MIND.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 19117, 9 July 1930, Page 8

DON’T PUT A BANDAGE ROUND THE CHILD’S GROWING MIND .

To-Day’s Signed Article.

Specially written for the “Star”

By

A. Corbett-Smith.

" And how old is the child? ” asked the Philosopher of the Athenian mother who had brought her little boy to him for correction and guidance. “ Six years,” replied the mother. “ Nearly seven .” “ I can do nothing. You have brought him to me four years too late. The child’s character is already formed.” An incident of 2500 years ago. But the maxim holds as truly to-day as then. The first seven years of childhood are the most impressionable and formative of all. And it is ____ ___ iuting that period that, too often, a i as , we w i tness the series of repressions and restrictions upon the young mind and body which are destined adversely to affect these all through life, if not to cause irreparable injury.

SHOULD BE in every home an automatic instrument to register every “don’t!” hurled at a child during the by the mother or nurse. Were that register examined each evening the record would, I think, be a staggering one—the trivial but insistent inhibitions upon natural action, the starving and warping of the young life for the sake of momentary comfort for the parents, the imprisonment of a soul like a tortured linnet in a tiny cage. The Father’s Unconcern. Perhaps it is the girl-child, and so the woman, who often suffers the more. Mothers, by law of nature, are more actively interested in sons than in daughters, and so allow more freedom. Fathers permit themselves little concern with their young children, except as charming playthings. They remain ignorant, of course, and blind to results—until too late. In the normal family we are concerned only with the negative side. And looking around upon our modern world I cannot but feel that the negative side remains strongly in evidence, despite the great advances in child-welfare made in this generation. The other day a woman of some standing and culture sought my advice about her little girl, aged five, who was found taking odd pennies from her mother’s purse to buy sweets. Question of Pocket-money. “What pocket-money do you give the child?” I asked. “Pocket-money?” exclaimed the mother in surprise. “She doesn't want pocketmoney at her age. Why, she’d only lose it.” “Well,” said I, “you’re storing up trouble for both of you. You are treating your daughter exactly as I was treated until I had finished with Oxford and gone into the army. The repression ruined me for life. And I swore that my children should never suffer in the same way. Shall I tell you how I have tried to guide them?” And I told her, to her profound astonishment, that both son and daughter had been given regular weekly pocket-money from the age of three. A penny or twopence, increasing with the years. Give Their Minds Space. They were guided in purchasing values and they had to learn by their own mistakes. They were shown, also, by practical example, the value of “putting by,” espe-

daily from unexpected gifts by aunts and uncles. Each child kept a savings bank jlfecount and an accessible “putting by” box for emergencies. At the age of seven the boy proudly opened his own deposit banking account with great banks, and neither his mother nor I dream of interfering with his affairs. He withdraws and deposits as he pleases. The daughter will be given similar fadlities. The scheme has worked to perfection. The children have room to stretch their minds.

Space! That, I suggest, is the password in the guidance of children. Space, and all that the word implies, both mentally and physically. A Bandage Round the Blind.

The growing mind of the child demands ever widening space for its development as surely as the baby demands room for the stretching and kicking of its tiny limbs. Every injudicious or impatient repression means a restrictive bandage around the mind. Space means constant and loving encouragement, the prime factor in the guidance of children. And repression is the exact negation of encouragement. Give the child mental space and freedom and you are providing a sterling capital at compound interest to serve him through life. Or need I mention the evils which inevitably result from repression or evasion in sex knowledge? Here, above everything, clean simplicity and immediate frankness are imperative. His Own Experiments. Every healthy child is by nature determined to make his own experiments with life. For he starts life with a clean and fearless outlook. He cannot and will not profit by another’s experience. No experiment, no profit; how often is his experiment nipped in the bud by that maddening “don’t”? In England there is much talk of the new development of the British Commonwealth. That development must come, not through robots and machinery, but through a renaissance of the clear-eyed, stout-hearted adventurers, men and women, who built the Commonwealth. Horatio Nelson held his King’s commission afloat at the age of twelve. With British parents of to-day lies the creation and fahhioning of those new, needed adventurers towards a glorious opportunity and future both for themselves and for their country’s weal. Which shall it be? Encouragement or repression? “Don’t” or “Do”?