BY THE WAY

Star (Christchurch), Issue 19109, 30 June 1930, Page 9

BY THE WAY

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS (By One of the Boj r s.) What made the Maltese cross ? They got the Order of the Bath. ss Motor and the girl motors with you, walk and you walk alone. A chiropodist is a man who teaches canaries to whistle. If women are all alike, why do men commit bigamy? Many a bride who thinks she is soon to have her own motor-car is often satisfied with a vacuum cleaner. “I wish to goodness” said the little girl, “that hens would lay something besides eggs for breakfast.” A domestic servant sent a wreath out of regard for her late mistress, and inscribed upon it the words, “At Rest from Cook.” If you see three men drinking champagne together in the morning, it frequently happens that one of them gets swindled. Doctor (to patient): “I don’t want to make you unduly anxious about your health, but you have a carbuncle coining on the back of your neck, and I should advise you to keep your eye on it.” The drowsy passenger was travelling on the north train, which was equipped with the new fog-horn that has been afflicting Christchurch lately. At a crossing near Chaney’s the whistle woke him. He sat up and remarked: “We seem to have caught up with that mob of wild cattle again.” A bachelor friend was shown the baby. “Now, Fred.” said the fond mother, “whom do you think he is like?” The guest looked at the ch«* for a moment, and said, “Well, of course, intelligence has not yet dawned in his face, but he is wonderfully like both of you.” A lady teacher was trying to inculcate observation by means of examples on the blackboard. After several fruitless attempts, she wrote two lines as follows: “A chicken has three legs ” “Who done it?” Then she turned to her class and said, “Now, Johnny Jones, in each of these sentences there is a mistake. I want you to tell me what they are.” After a long pause, Johnny blurted out, “Please, miss, nobody done it. Gawd done it.”