BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18940, 10 December 1929, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) Vicar: “ And which of all the parables do you like best?” Small Boy: “The one where somebody loafs and fishes.” Having had considerable trouble with his three lodgers, an Irishman decided to tell them off when he saw them in the morning. “You three are a nice pair!” he said. “If you’re going to stop here you’ll have to clear out, for you didn’t come home again last night until this morning! ” Schoolboy howler:— Ambiguous means having two wives and not being able to get rid of one of them. A “ dream of a hat ” usually mear s a rude awakening when the bill comes in. Boss: “ What do you mean—you must go home at once? Why at once ?” Jones: “Well, sir, my wife’s just rung up to say she’s got the wireless set mixed up with our vacuum clearer, and the loud speaker’s sucking all the paper off the dining-room wall.” Curious, isn’t it, that to-day was chosen for the experiment of dispatching the ferry train earlier from Lyttelton. You see Mr Sterling, the general manager of railways, was coming south. And apropos of that, they say that the last time he arrived in Lyt> tel ton from the north the train was djspatched so promptly that one or two regular travellers were still in their bunks when it drew out.