BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18189, 23 June 1927, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys). News Item.—Parliament was opened to-day. They meet each other every year, The M.P.’s who control the State, And judging them by what I hear, Their control powers are not great.. They can’t control their zeal for talk, They'll talk from morn till dewy eve; No subject dreamed can make them baulk, Because on “Hansard” they must leave Traces of statecraft, vision, will, The things that make a people great; But, if they’re wise, the people will Sleep, while the M.P.’s save the State. :: Aparently owing to a temporary shortage of crackers, the war in China seems to have quietened down. If I might persume to advise Otago about the deficit on the Medical School I would say: “Mum’s the word.” If any attempt is made to get money out of the public purse they can be sure that Auckland will demand a share on the ground that it intends to establish a medical school as soon as it can appoint the necessary staff. *: « Talking oi fatalities, Sir Sefton Brancker said that “ if you consider the French railways and London Streets, I think you will agree that aviation comes out well in comparison.” Yes, but a man’s just as dead, however he’s killed. :: >: And Sir Sefton mentioned that regular routes have flown 21,000,000 miles without scratching a passenger. There can’t be much rash flying. » X » Sir Joseph Cook speaks highly of the prosperity of the Nauru islanders, and says that they are being taught to initiate self-advancement schemes. The Chinese and the Egyptians have dabbled in that sort of scheme already, and the first step seems to be to give J. Bull a few swipes below the belt. 36 K 96 An English Labour man has compared the visit of six English children to Russia with the children’s crusade. He must ha\ r e forgotten that none of the original child crusaders came home again. 36 X * The latest South African flag is described as a * transparent fraud.” A transparent flag might be fraudulent, but it is certainly original. SI 36 36 Blunt was missed twice in making his 195 yesterday. They’re now looking for the man who put the thumb in N orth umberl an d. Blunt has once more taken the edge off the bowling. A man sat in the pit of a theatre stolidly and quietly watching a deplorably bad play while the rest of the audience were booing and hissing. “Why don’t you hiss?” asked an irate neighbour. “ I can’t, because I’ve come in free. But,” he added, “if it gets much worse I’m dashed if I don’t go out and pay, so’s I can.” Insurance Agent: “Yes, sir; if your premises are burned down we pay you the money immediately." Client: “And do you make any inquiries?” Insurance Agent: “We make the most careful inquiries.” Client: “Ah, I thought there was a catch in it somewhere.” « tt Oswald had the habit of asking for something to eat whenever he happened to be at a neighbour’s house, so his mother told him he must never do such a thing again. The next time he returned from a visit she asked him if he had begged for anything to eat. “ No,” he replied, “ I didn't. I was just talking to myself about how hungry I was and they heard me.” The inspector was paying a visit to a country school. He examined the children in reading and general knowledge, as was his custom, and was very pleased with the answers he received. After the last question had been asked and answered satisfactorily he rose to his feet and looking slowly round on the upturned faces, he remarked genially: “ I wish I was a little boy at scho’ol again.” He allowed a few moments for this to sink in and then added: “ Do you know why I wish that?” For a moment or two there was silence and then a childish voice from the back of the room was heard to say: “ ’Cos you’ve forgot all you ever knew.” tt tt tt Inspector: “Got away, has he? Did you guard all the entrances?” Young Constable: “Yes, we think he must ’ave left by one of the exits! ” Drainage Worker: “Didn’t you see that notice which says: * Road Closed ’ ? ” Cyclist (who had fallen down hole in the road): “Yes, confound it, and I found it wide open.” The stranger was asking a lot of questions concerning the village, and the oldest inhabitant was doing his best to answer them. “And how about the water supply? What precautions do you take against infection?” “ Well, first o’ all we boils it, zur.” “ Good.” “ An’ then we filters it.” “ Fine.” “An’ then, zur, we drinks beer!” An elderly lady entered a shop in Cashel Street and asked to be shown some tablecloths. The salesman brought some, but nothing seemed to suit her. “ Haven’t you anything new?” she asked. The perspiring shopman brought another pile and said: “ These are the newest pattern, madam. You will notice the edge runs round the border and the centre is in the middle.” “Dear me, yes, so it does. I will take half a dozen of those,” replied the lady.