BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18057, 18 January 1927, Page 5

BY THE WAY.

SOME REFLECTIONS \ND COLLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys). T see the lawyers returned yesterday to Christchurch. Sydney seems to be having its troubles, too, for 1000 bathers were stung there the other day. ;.j The colonial premiers are to be modelled for Madame Tussaud’s. I’m told the wax is only on the outside; the interiors of these figures arc built up with old newspapers. If that is bo, wouldn’t it be a good idea to stuff Gordon Coates with those full-page election ads. They made him what he *: :: The Magistrate says pillion riding is a common practice. It is certainly not a singular. A casual caller at the office says he won't go to see “The Marriage Claus©” because “clause” is spelt wrong. She must be a cat! He was—well, we won't say mean, but very, very careful- Each week he would go over his wife's cash account, growling and grumbling. Once he delivered himself of the following: “Look here, Sarah, mustard plasters Is, two teeth extracted ss. There’s 6s in one week spent for your private pleasure. Do you thuik I am made of money?” “Prisoner,” said the judge, “you say your wife hit you on the head with a plate. Is that so?” . “Yes, sir.” “But your head doesn’t show marks of any kind.” “No, sir,” then, with a touch of pride, “but you should have seen that plate.” x The little girl -watched her mother sprinkling her furs with naphthalene powder and placing them away in safety. “What do you do that for, mother?” “To keep the moths away, dear.” “Why?” “Because moths eat clothes, dear.” “Were there moths in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve lived there, mother?” “Of course, dear.” “Well, what did they eat?” The defeated boxer had retired to his dressing-room, and his trainer was upbraiding him. “Why didn’t 3 r ou hit ’im?” he. yelled. “Hit ’im? What? Hit ’im?” was the rejoinder. “Not me. The last bloke I hit, when he came to again his clothes was old-fashioned.” “ Bob is a very interesting talker, don’t you think?” “I did, until I heard him trying to talk back to a pointy-duty policeman.” Little Johnny had been to the Zoo. “ What animals did you like the best, dear?” asked his mother. “The dangeroos, mummy.” “ You mean the kangaroos, dear,” but Johnny insisted that they were “ dangeroos.” So much so that his mother went with him to the Zoo the next day for Johnnie to point them out, which he did by taking her straight to a cage and pointing triumphantly to the notice, “ These animals are dangerous.” Some sing of fair Achilles* wrath Of fair Achilles, Peleus’ son, But I shall take for this my theme The things the Tramway Board have done Those hoary men whose rise to fame Has sullied this fair city’s name. Their latest craze is a machine Which, as it through the town will slide Will have its gruesome destiny Left to a single man to guide And it will smash its gory way Through Christchurch town by night and daj'. Though sages say the One Man Tram In other towns has been a farce The Tramway Board persist and say, “ This thing has got to come to pass. W© do not give a tinker’s dam. We’re going to have a one man tram.”