BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18015, 27 November 1926, Page 1

BY THE WAY.

SOME REFLECTIONS AND COLLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys). There’s a message this morning that they’re, having rain on West Coast. Why not save money and wire when it doesn’t rain? Gipsy Smith’s bit at the war was to pour out coffee. It took braver men to drink some of that war-lime stuff. Gee, I saw a girl this morning who wasn’t wearing a short skirt. What! Are they leaving them off altogether now? First bootlegger: What did you do before prohibition? Second bootlegger: Oh, I was in the liquor business. I never was arrested in my life. No, I don’t drive a car either. I** :*! ♦*; Several yarns are being told about Miss Ederle on. the Bcrengaria. One of them relates that when told to put on a life preserver for ship drill Miss Ederle asked: “ What for?’’ “Just to be ready in case of shipwreck.” Miss Ederle, so the story goes, took a look at the life preserver and said: “ Nothing doing. If this ship is wrecked the captain will have to cart his old life preservers ashore himself!” “ May I read your Palm Olive?” “ Not on your L'fe Buoy!” “Then I am out of Lux!” Note to Printer: Think up something to fill this space yourself. A popular brand of cigarettes advertises that there are no “ ands or ifs ” in their quality. There are plenty of butts, though. Don’t envy a good complexion. Buy one! A gentleman describing one of those modern young ladies who adjust their garters in public, displaying the while an engaging glimpse of their undies, refers to them as “ her mentionables.” There is a distinct connection, it seems, between the Whispering Gallery and the Rogues’ Gallery. Gipsy Smith told a meeting of children that his other name was Peter Pan. lie must have meant Patter Pan. There’s a homely ring about this personal paragraph from New York “Life”:— “Lucifer Lowncy is home again after a few weeks’ visit in Chicago during ■which he served a ten-year sentence for burglary.” “Will you love me for ever?” pleaded the young suitor. I can t tell that,” coyly replied the sweet, young flapper as she gazed at the beautiful necklace lie had given her, “but I love you for the present.” It is denied that the man who writes M'' Coates's speeches at Home has any connection with the man who wrote the page advertisements during the election campaign. Husband (to shop assistant) : Will you show my wife a cooking range, please ? Assistant: Pleased to, sir. What kind would you want? Husband: Oh, we don’t want to buy. I just want her to see what one is like.