SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17036, 9 May 1923, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Headers are invited to send in original topical paragraphs of verses for the | oolumn, which is a daily feature of the ‘ btar." Accepted conuibumous should be cut out by tile writers and forwarded to the Editor, who w-iil remit the amounts payable. The rainfall to date for this month is stated to be over five inches. | Seems to me the Clerk of the Weather ought to have his accounts audited. “Shears,” said Dr AVatson, “ I think you’re neglecting your work most shamefully. You haven’t solved a mystery for weeks now.” “Admitted, my dear Watson,” said ! the great detective easily. “ The fact is, 1 have been slowly recovering from ar. overdose of morphia. However, L now feel sufficiently rested to attack a few problems again.” “ AA’ell, then,” said AVatson, “ there’s the mystery of the watered wickets. All the best brains of the Cricket Council have puzzled at it in vain. AY hy don’t you solve it?” “My dear AVatson,” said Shamlock Shears, “ I have solved it.’’ “Solved it! AVhen, may I ask?” said AVatson incredulously. “ Half an hour ago. You saw -t stated that the wicket had been

rolled?” “Yes, but what the ” “ AA’ell, I have spent the whole afternoon pushing the heaviest roller L could find.’’ “I see!” exclaimed AYatson. I“« n the moisture on the wicket was not dew, but ” “Perspiration!” said Shears triumphantly. “Exactly. You’re no idea how a man sweats at work like that. Smith, big, burijy, and unshaven, faced the “Beak.” He looked at the lawyer’s table, then across at the pressmen. Suddenly he started. A Voice was speaking. "Have you been arrested before?” it asked. Smith looked about him again. Disgust was apparent in his glare. “ Arrested belore!” he repeated. ‘Do you take me for a amatoor?” Here’s a hit of philosophy.—Alan’s distinction is this : He is the only animal that can be “ skinned ” more than The Watch on the Rhine evidently needs a new balance wheel. The original “ movie.”—A woman’s The stars were slowly lighting in the dark sky, and the shadows deepening. Swiftly "the trams moved out of the Square, and the clang of bells rang through the air. The lights glowed faintly, and a pale mist shrouded the young moon. A cold little wind sprang suddenly from the hills, and whispered through the city streets. The Alan drew his coat closer around him, and shivered a little! The blueness deepened around his firm lips, and his eyes held a tensity not to be ignored. Slowly the chimes of the Post Office clock rang out —seven strokes! The Alan started I Seven! He moved a step forward, eagerly and hopefully at first, then a little doubtfully. The cold seemed to- cut through his coat; his fingers ivere numb! He moved again, another step ! Gradually he drew nearer, the tenseness in his eyes deepening perceptibly. Between the thumb and index finger he held something that caught the ray of light front the street lamp! The clock hands had moved to the five-past when the Alan found what he sought! How the minutes dragged —dragged into leaden hours; but at last, with a sigh of relief, he gained the reward of patience! That “ something ’’ that he held dropped with a metallic ring into the receptacle; his numb fingers graspe-d the tickets, and he entered the building. The queue moved on one ! There is an old and now' appropriate little ditty which runs: “Carry me hack to Christchurch— Anywhere there will do— Dump me down in my favourite town, And I’ll paddle my own canoe!” The cry of the borer: “ Alore like Dunedin every day!” Give me a cosy little oil-skin, And a cute little gamp; Somehow, it’s always wet now, And the rain’s quite damp! Give me a pair of big goloshes, And I’ll wade through in state, And I'll squash right through the little puddles And the slush of the mud I hate ! AN INTERVIEW. It is a well-known fact that newspapers have got the obituaries of all prominent people written up and indexed away, hut it is not generally known that before the day of a poll, all candidates are interviewed hy freelance newspaper writers. Of course, only the successful candidates’ interviews are published. The one \ interviewed on what was supposed to he inside information, got defeated. It was a good interview and should surely see the light of day. As my candidate was defeated, we will call him Air Blank. He lives in a nice house with the usual walls, roof, fence, etc. He said : “I am glad you have called. Shake hands. I am always proud to meet newspaper men. AVhen I was younger T had yearnings that way myself. You want doubtless to know all about me. I am quite open : Search my past and you will find nothing dishonourable there. I will not dwell on what I have done for my country; I will not enlarge on my Avar work, or on how the Governor thanked me personally, of how I was introduced to the Prince as one of New Zealand’s prominent men, or of how m - photograph appeared in a weekly journal labelled ‘ One of our statesmen.’ You will not want to know what I haA-e done. Afost lof it is common talk. I was instruJ mental in getting the Alarum Empowering Bill through, and in getting the Blankville made a main school, but I Avill not talk about my work. I do not advertise myself. I leave mv record to the historians of the future. I may he proud of what T have done, but T do not dAA-ell on it. lam a plain bluff man. I have been a member of Parliament, not from choice, but at the call of my country. As soon as my country ceases to call. I will, like Julius Cresar, heat my sword into a ploughshare and go back to mv office work again.” Unfortunately, as I said before, the country ceased to call. I I had a Tittle garden j AA’ith flowers so bright and gay. | AVhich nodded brightly-coloured heads Throughout the sunny da>* I had a little garden— Af.v neighbour kept a cow AVhicli also liked mv garden "Where is mv garden noAV ? SIN BAD