TRIALS AND TROUBLES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17030, 2 May 1923, Page 6

TRIALS AND TROUBLES.

(Written for the “ Star.*') The writer of the Maruia column of the ‘‘Milford Daily News” sat at his desk and toyed with his gold-mounted fountain pen. The Maruia Rumbles were eagerly looked forward to each week by the people of the district. The little piece about the gold-mount-ed fountain pen is to emphasise the tact that correspondents do not write their articles tor the money they ar® gf ,d - , The - V . aie not sordid-minded. They do it for the love of danger an J adventure. If they had not been suburban correspondents thev would have hunted big game, the tierce lion in his lair, ancl the rumpled rhinoceros in his forest haunts. By his side eat a fair typist, as pretty as she was powdered, and as she chewed she read. Some may wonder why a mere suburban correspondent should need a typist. Yes, there’s a lot of people wondering—calumny ever seeks Now, as we stated before, this writer was a brave man. Danger to him was the spice of life. Beyond wearing a suit of chain armour next to his ski a he took no precautions. It is true a six-chambered revolver reposed near his right hand, but he never used it unless pressed. Soon the inspiration came, and ha wrote rapidly. At length he paused. ■ Do marriages happen or occur?” he asked. “Neither,” the girl replied; “they are celebrated.” “ Oh, yes,” the man said, and was relieved because “occur” was one of the words he never could spell. He was never certain if the c’s and r’s were single or hunted in couples. He wrote: “A very pretty Marriage was selebrated.” and then stopped. He was sure the last word was spelt wrong He hunted all over the desk. “Where’s my dictionary?” he growled at last. “ What do you -want to spell?” Th= girl looked up. “ I don’t want to know tow to spell anything; I want to know where it is me b y an old friend.” whatcher want to spell?” “Nothing,” he thundered The girl resumed her reading. A love scene was drawing to a climax, ani she chewed now in long, slow, sweepJng bites like the chords in the “ Wedding March.” The correspondent decided to let ‘selebrated’ go and went or to describe the dresses. The door at the end of the room opened quietly and a man entered, a revolver in his hand. But quiet as he was, the man at the desk had heard Tv-ben* " aS reaching for the weapon ouch that revolver and vou are a dead man,” the newcomer said iyThe girl looked up. inspected the man, missed two chews, and then resumed her reading. The man with the gun stepped forward. my wife’s name left out 25 the , “ st of guests at Hifon Browns?” he demanded. “It was a printer’s error—we offer eveiy apology. 1 use every care I check the names over six times, then put them through an adding machine cross index them and check it after by double entry—l use every care. To satisfy you that I sent "in your wife’s name I will show you a carbon copy of my report. Examine it for yourself.” Ihe man studied the document. It is well,” he said and walked to the door. . -The door closed, and the oorresponaent took up his pen again, and wrote another page. Soon the frown deepened on his brow. One of those dangerous problems was before him. The Progress League had passed a resolution demanding from the council a lamp opposite the slot telephone. Of course it was needed, but the telephone was near Brown’s, and if Brown got the benefit of a light out of the council funds it would give great offence to the Burgesses’ Association, and the burgesses hated the League. Of course, at present, the league were in control of the council, but it was freely rumoured that the daughter of the president of the burgesses was engaged to the Mayor, and whether he would go over to the enemy was in doubt. It was awkward. A sixth sense wanted him it was loaded, so he wrote. “ The proposal to install a light near the slot telephone needs careful thought. It would certainly be an improvement to have a light there, but whether the advantage is sufficient to justify the expenditure must be considered. It is most important to have a. light there, and equally important that the expenditure be kept down.” “ Now,” he said, to the girl at his side, “how about afternoon tea?” The girl’s eyes brightened. “You're a bird !'* she said. —FTT