HERE AND THERE.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17013, 11 April 1923, Page 6

HERE AND THERE.

AN EYE FOR EVERYTHING. THE SAFE PLACE. It is acknowledged that the Prince of Wales holds the record for smile*, but it is generally admitted that the Duke of York is the humorist of the family- A story he tells oonoerns an Irish soldier who, during a scrap, stuck like a leech to his colonel’* side. "‘Well, my man, you have followed me well to-day,” exclaimed the colonel, when the battle was over. “ Yes, sorr,” replied Pat. “Me mother said to me, •Jist stick to the colonel, me bhoy, aaid you'll be all might. Thim colonel? niver gets hurled !’ ” THE GROOM’S MISTAKE. Here is a good yarn of what might have been a matrimonial tragedy.. In an English Midland town the local hall provided office room for several public officials, among them the police surgeon, to whom candidates for the force go for medical examination. A muscular young fellow presented himself at the surgeon's office. He was told to strip to the waist. “ What’s t-hat? said the man. J 1 Strip!”' repeated the doctor sharply. He complied. and was duly measured, punched and pounded. " Skip over that chair.” said the surgeon. The man did so, and barked his shins. He was getting Indignant. Knees baek : touch the floor! Now run round and let m© test your heart and wind.” said the surgeon. The candidate exploded. ‘‘l'm { hanged if I will !” ho roared- ” I’d rather stay single.” He had strayed into the wrong room. The marria-ge registrar's office was on the other side of the corridor. A MODEST REQUEST. In India, postal officials are frequently puzzled by the strange methods of addressing letters adopted by nativesThe following must have given the postman a considerable amount of trouble, especially us it was written in an almost unreadable hand: "To the one inseparable from my heart, the fortunate Babu Sibnnth Gho.se. having the same heart as mine. From postoffice Hasnabrd to the village of Ramnathpur. to reach the house of thw fortunate Babu Prayanath Gho.se, district Twenty-four Fergana*-. Don't deliver this letter to any person other than the addressee. Mr Postman. This is my request to you.” Ever noticed tlie» state of some of the shop windows in the »fitv? Np. f don'c mean the high prices of the goods therein. It's the dropped letters. Where they have glass letters stuck on and some have gone! This morning I saw a barlier's with " ASH AND RUSH UP” on it: and a confectioner’s with *« ICE REAMS. " and a dairv with “FAMILIES UP LIE." Later on % stationer’s caught mv eve with " LUE LACK INK.” but the daddv of them all was a dentist’s ground floor window -showing "PA LESS EXTRACTION.” A WONDERFUL CLOCK. From New York comes the story of a clock that gave warning of the death o! its ow ner. In the house of a certain merchant there was a clock that had been going lor many years. One d*y i 7 stopped at twelve o’clock. At the same second its owner died in hospital and his mother le’i a victim to heart failure. There was absolutely no reason why the <fio,-k should In re stopped. Another case ol the same kind occurred in Liverpool. There was a small clock on the mantelpiece in one of the rooms of a builder's house. At a quarter past eleven one morning this clock fell to the floor. \\ hen pi« ked tip it was atill'going ard was apparently uninjured. \\ hen the builder canto home he remarked that at a quarter past eleven that morning he had fallen from the top ol a high building, luckily without receiving any injury. A PHENOMENA L CHI LD. A baby who. at the age of ten month* possesses sixteen perfectly-iortned teeth has been discovered in America. This remarkable child lias other jieculiu-r leatures. She weighs fifty pounds, is forty two inches high. and measure* thirty-three inches round the chest. She talks, and in ever-,- rosjject her development is that of a normal child of three Her parent's a:-e sixrv and twenty tiv3 years respectively, and have one other child, a l>oy of three. The huge growth of the baby i- a puzzle to the entire family. The child is perfectly healthy, and has never needed a doctor since s’n<=* was horn. Her feet are too small to support her weight, and she is unable to walk. Hie parents have been deluged with applications from showmen and others who wish to exhibit her. One enterprising business man wanted the mother to sign a photograph, saying that the growth was, entirely due .» his patent medil.fine! FEEDING THE MARCHERS. The National Unemployed Committee wrote to the Minister of Health. Sir Arthur Griffith Rosea wen. with regard to the provision of reasonable foot) and accommodation for those men who were marching on London with a view to demonstrating. They spent a weekend at Maidenhead, where t lie* Sheffield contingent was joined I»v the Birmingham men, making over 300. and there were threats of trouble it a good hot meal was not forthcoming. The .Mayor called a privau* meeting of public bodies and leading townsmen, amt arrangements were, made for a spread of appetising soup. etc., on the marchers' arrival, the cost being privately subscribed. The hunger marchers expressed themselves, satisfied with their treatment at Maidenhead. The Minister of Health, in his reply, pointed out the various taken by th«* Government to cope with the problem of ii nemplovment. 'lho hardships of the : r position--*were' fully recognised, and so far as it was intended to propose. remedies could be attained mow effectively than bv marches. The Uuemploved fomfiiiltee consider the reply unsatisfactory, and demand that any instructions: which might have been issued with regard to their food should he withdrawn and oroper provision made for their accommodation. X RAY INVENTOR DEAD. The death was recentlv . announced of Professor Wilhelm von Rontgen. the celebrated discoverer « t X-rays, at the age of 78. The Rontgen-Rays, a peculiar radiation discovered in 1895 bv the professor, are capable of passing witli little absorption through opaque substances such as flesh, paper, and wood, although thev are strongly absorbed bv metal. hone. and glass. Having discovered these properties. Professor Rontgen set about turning the rays to useful purpose. The im mediate result was the apparatus known as the X rays, which lias renderoil immense service t«> suffering hiimnnitv. By interosing a, slab of vulcanite he. ecu a vacuum rube and \ screen covered with a laver of fluorescing crvstals. the screen continues to glow ami an arm interposed casts on the screen a shadow in which the dark central body structure can bo clearly distinguished.