SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16902, 29 November 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are invited to send in origrina i topical paragraphs or verses for thi; column, which is a daily feature of thi I "Star.” Accepted contributions shoul bo cut out by the writers and forwardec . to the Editor, who will remit the amount •! payable. | T am convinced that Mr Massey*! J meeting at the Theatre Royal is no : receiving the advertisement that it de serves. Tt was a good idea to fill tin stage with prominent Reformers; bu something more should be done i | Christchurch people are not to mis the coming treat through sheer over , sight. How about this ? THE CHRISTCHURCH REFORM PARTY presents ■WILLIAM F. MASSEY WILLIAM F. MASSEY WILLIAM F. MASSEY Together with his Select Company o Popular Entertainers in the Greatest Comedy Success of the Age V REFORM!” REFORM! ” “ REFORM ! ” !As played to Crowded Houses ii : Papakura. Fairlie and Levin. Do not miss this Unique Opportunity See the Great Railway Act! Financial Juggling by the Moder: i Wizard! ; Baffling Illusions. Quick Change Acts Witty Patter. To ho followed by The Grand Spectacular Patriotic Tableau. MY COUNTRY’S FLAG ” j MY COUNTRY’S FLAG.” * |No Early Doors. You Pay the Tax T am a business mar You know What that means. It means that J spend my days . From nine Till five Adding up, Subtracting, Multiplying Rows and rows of Figures. And I do this for months. Till round and round in my brain The figures, little black figures. Dance. Then the doctor savs, “ Old man. You Need a holiday. Take a few weeks at Brighton.” So I go To Brighton. And there I lie on the warm sand in the sun and bask; But God bless my soul I I can’t get away From it. lor 1 have to gaze on rows and row. of other Figures. Morning.—Not a breath of wind cloudless sky, air warm, sun shinini brightly. Streets nice and clean pipes fragrant, girls all in beautifu fresE white summer frocks. Pleasan smiles. “ Great morning, what? Yes beautiful, isn't it? Yes.” Noon.—You’re not quite so sure non that it is a lovely day. For on< thing, it is much warmer. It is alst commencing to be dusty. There is ; suspicious-looking arch of clouds to th-nor’-west. Your pipe bites, and you’rt almost sure that there’s a drop ot perspiration on the typiste’s brow, and you’re quite sure there’s a drop on your own. “ Bai Jove. warm, what? ’ Yes, looks 'sif there might be a nor’-wester, what? ” ” Yes.” Night.—Dust—wind—heat. Heatwind—dust—principally dust. but there’s a lot of heat, and certainly a lot of wind. The white dresses arc now wilted, and the glory is departed from the fresh toilettes You put your pipe away. You perspire freely and unashamedly, because everyone else is doing it. You cant help Nor can. they. “ Rotten day. what? ” ” Yes. Beastly nor’-wester. Detest those nor’-tvesters. don't you? ” “ Yes.” “She is the sort of woman." remarked a lady. “ who gives you her favourite reeipe and purposely leaves out the most important ingredients.” ’Tis the voire of the farmer, I hear him complain, “Mr really are faced with a surplus of rain. If this weather continues for more 1 shall sell up my farm and another job seek. ” ’Tis the voice of the farmer, who says with a tear. If it doesn’t rain soon I’ll be ruined I fear. ” And he puts on to obi William Massev the onus And promptly decides to apply fo r a bonus. Tis the voice of the farmer resounding And lie »urses the sun and lie curses the rain, But 1 vp no or heard him say, though ofttimes have 1 tried. Those most magical words, “ I am quite satisfied. " Current. Events Teacher: Who mar ried Princess Mnrv? Owner of Quickest Hand: Oh. T know that one. Doug Fairbanks! V sweep and a baker in a small country town bad quarrelled. Strange! *• enough, they had exactly the same names. One morning the local paper contained the following announceIn consequence of frequent and baker, begs to announce that he is not the same person as -John .Jones, the sweep, and that he lias no connection with the latter.” But he was more irritated than ever when he read the sweep’s reply, which appeared iu the next copy of the paper : “ John Jones, the sweep, who was declared yesterday to be a different person from, and to he in no wav connected with John Jones, the baker, wishes to be known in future a= • Lucky John Jones.’ ” How many maqv limes indeed I've run to catch a tram Ami go l there as it left the stop And voiced a fervent damn It fills me with a fiery rage But greater far the smart M hen after running like a fiend ’Tis but a Water Cart! Heard in the tram-car: “Say. Bill ! it says ’ere i n the - Star.' ‘Childers in : Jeopardy.' Where is this Jeopardy. Dunne* Alf , somewhere in France. I think.” A contemporary reminds us that there are two mentally deranged men in Russia who think they are Trot-.k-.-It is quite possible that one of the o \'s right. A correspondent puts the query .- What does Dr Thacker's telephone’ number (526) remind vou of? Answer : A long shandy. SIN BAD.