SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16642, 26 January 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Mr Winsor asked th© meeting to sing “God Save th© King.” ‘Cut it out!” shouted voices from various parts of the hall.—Public Servants’ meeting. It is this free and independent spirit which has made our Public- Service what it is. Girls, if you want it t© be known that you are “in Society,” speak up. A loud voice is one of the hallmarks of gentle breeding. A Vienna message says that after a dispute in the Diet, M. Gaal, the President, and M. Benitzski, a deputy, fought a duel with sabres. M. Gaal had his thumb sliced off. They then parted friends. Friends ar© too dear at on© thumb each. “ The ladies said that Commander Ward Hunt displayed the greatest fortitude under very trying circumstances .’ ’ —Newspaper paragraph. This ia th© spirit we expect from the Navy. About eight of th© ten speakers who harangued th© Public Servants last night had a decided Home country accent of varying degrees of thickness, but the frozen limit waa reached by the Reddest specimen of all, who lapsed more and more into his native accent as the perfidies of “ Bill Massey ” came to his mind. One of his hearers stood it % a long time, and then ran him through with a sudden appeal to “ Speak English.” This broke the gathering up properly. ** . ( The newspaper headlines tell us that th© Admiralty is effecting great economies at Rosyth. 11 I say, old top,” remarked Alger§on of the War Office to his cobber laud©, of tho Admiralty, “ we’re overstaffed with confounded warships and aeroplanes and store® and things We’ll have to save some money, too. Can’t we get rid of some of the stuff, whatP ”

‘ 1 Beastly bore having to take stock of such a bally lot of rubbish,” agreed Claude. " What about those rude Diggahs? I think I’ll unload- a warship or two on to them. They couldn’t do any harm with them, and think how it would save us trouble, old bean!”

“ Quite,” said Algernon, “ and there’s the blighter who play 6 the piano, what? Think it woud keep him qui©t if w© sent Poland a couple of million pounds worth of axle-grease? Wo don’t want th© smelly stuff hero, and perhaps the Poles could do with it? ”

” Talking of grease, _ dear chap,” drawled Claude. “ make Greece a preset too. I don’t like dagoes, but they strafe Turkey now and again. Got anything that clutters up th© storeroom, old thing? ” “ Aeroplanes? * suggested Algernon. “ I don’t like them—too dangerous. I’ll give fifty away. “ Quite,” agreed Claude. “If w© could only get rid of the rest of the stores, this would be quite a gentleman’s job, what? How much is that little lot worth w© looked at yesterday? ” “ There’s £17,000,000 worth of stores, including some millions in cash and bonds. But nobody want® them, dear boy.” " What about those Bolshies? 93 “No,” said Algernon. “ Seven teeu millions would go a long way towards keeping the miners quiet, what?” “ My dear boy ” said Claude, shocked. 4< Give £17,000,000 to our working classes, when we’re supposed to be saving money ? It simply isn’t done. No; I’ll send the lot to tho Russians, and sack £IOO,OOO worth of labour at Rosyth. Beastly bore, isn’t it. What about a spot or something? ” Th© Mount Everest expedition party will sail at tho end of February and will reach the foot of Mount Everest in May.—Cable. I’m told th© sea used to reach t-o the foot of the Himalayas one time. Evidently history is repeating itself. A second telephone line to Sydney has been opened. It will relieve the congestion on th© initial line.—Cabl©. You see, on this one, you have to give your full name. *•* A Japanese visiting England was interested at th© sight of a large asylum, and on learning'its nature, remarked: “Ah, ves, you have a saying about th© insane being invisible, have you not ?” This query caused some bewilderment till it transpired that the saying referred to was “ Out of sight, out of mind.” “ It says here that surgeons hare discovered that orange blossoms may be used as an aneestlietic,” said Mrs Henpeck. “I always did believe I was unconscious when we were married,” remarked Mr Henpeck. We know where ignorance is bliss, ’Tis folly to be wise; So when a maiden gets a kis3 She always shuts her eyes. I shudder when I read the news that fills the Press these days; so lend your aid. O Tragic Muse, and I my wail will raise. We’ve heard enough of Landru’s deeds and “ Jack the Ripper ” crimes; n rest from this the public needs, in these distressful times. But now a horror even worse has flashed upon tho page ; ’tis bad enough to make cne curse, or tear the hair with rage. ’Tis rumoured in the Swedish Press, whoso word T do not doubt, that dreadful Bolshevik distress has laid the Russians out. No longer can they live on fire, ns once they used to do ; behold, their need is now so dire, they ent each other too. The natives of the Southern Seas did this in days of yore ; they ate their enemy with peas, and washed him down with gore. But now when my small grandson John refuses to obey, and will not sut bis collar on, I’ll call to him and say: “ Now, Johnny boy pray have a care ; if not, see w'hat I’ll do: I’ll pack you off to Russia, where they live on boys like you/’

At a recent meeting of the Victorian Cricket Association, it was decided that th© team to play ajjainst New South Wales should consist of twelve cricketers, a manager and a scorer. I always thought that a team consisted of eleven men, but her© are fourteen. The greatest thorn in th© side of the N.S.W. players will be the scorer. It will be his duty to do tho best he caja for his side and the best a scorer can do is pretty good. When I was a boy I belonged to a junior cricket team which used to play among the cows in a Halswell paddock, and many a game was won by the steady innings played by the scorer. Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton, but th© Junior Cowspnnkers won many a match on the scoring cards of that paddock. *•* Waste of time—Standing in front of a mirror with your eyes shut, trying to see what you look like when you’re asleep. SfTNRAD