SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16583, 16 November 1921, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

This iJ» a, very hard world. When it was reported the other day that a shrewd Hebrew gentleman formerly very well known in financial circles in Christchurch had appendicitis the only approach to sympathy was embodied in a question from a co-religionist: “Is it in his vife’s name?” “How is the race of time run?” “By the laps of years.” Advice to girls: Flirt, and the world flirts with you. Be prim, and you walk alone. An optimist can always see the bright side of the other fellow’s misfortune. Sad reflection of an M.P. : For every *one wffio swears by you, there ar© a. thousand who swear at you. Tile next thing wanted,” says Mr Jamieson, “ will be automatic feeding bottles throughout the city.” A good suggestion for City Fathers. His horse was one of tho sort “ that trot with the front legs and canter with the hind ones.” I’ve seen horses like this. T had one once that could gallop with its front legs and kick with its hind ones. The greatest living authority on Rest Houses, Mr H. G. Ell, has' not vet offered his opinion about the one for tlie Square. Hie Minister of Agriculture was urged by Mr Forbes to call a general conference of rabbit boards to discuss the best methods of dealing with this very serious menace. Let me direct the attention of Mr Forbes to this paragraph : A special train returning from Henty to the Rand killed thirteen sheen and tuo hares. A bullock’s leg was found on the cow-catcher. A good scheme would be* to drag the rabbits in front of the train. Owing to the recent curtailment in railway services there ought to be plenty of trains availableThe Postmaster-General told the House that Slot Telephones were a losing venture, and further, were an expensive luxury. I fail to see how his first remark can be true, but I agree most cordiallv with his second. I’ve often put ‘in a dozen pennies for one call. But the Department should do well out of it. “We Shall All Die.”—Perfectly original remark by a Russian refugee. The Office Boy: <4 Sav, what’s the cause of all these earthquakes?” The Editor: “Well sonny, tlie earth 19 settling down after the upheaval in Europe.” Councillor H. F. Herbert said he wanted to see houses built. Houses or comfort stations ? Gentleman bought this dog you said he was splendid tor rats! Wh- he won’t touch them 1” Dog Dealer: “ Well, ain’t that splendid fop rats?” Apparently they have dogs like this over in Australia. ‘‘ Six men stunned on the Harrow golf course,” runs a recent heading in tho London “Daily Chronicle.” They must hare been teeing, not wisely, but too well. *.* Marriage (savs the Feminist) is an important incident in the process of Choosing the Father of One’s Children. FAMOUS LAST WORDS. “'They say these things can’t possibly explode, no matter how much you throw them around.” An old-fashioned philosopher, after meditating earnestly on what ails the world to-day, gave vent to the following list of ills: Too many silk shirts and not enough flannel ones. Too many serge suits and not enough overallsToo much decollete and not enough aprons. Too many satin upholstered limousines and not enough cows. Too much envy of the results of hard work, and not enough desire to emulate it. Too many desiring short cuts to wealth and too few willing to pay the ; price. A deputation of the Farmers’ Union waited on Mr Massey a few days ago with a long list of complaints. They considered that the bottom was falling out of New Zealand. If we get many more of those earthquakes I shall feel inclined to believe them. “ Youth, smart, wanted, to lease for three years, with option of purchase.” So ran an Auckland advertisement a few days ago. Are wo back in tho days uf slavery ?