HERE AND THERE.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16530, 14 September 1921, Page 6

HERE AND THERE.

THE AMENDE. To the Rt. Han J. H. Whitley, the new Speaker of the House of Commons, is attributed an amusing story of how Richard Sheridan, the famous dramatist and politician, puzzled o predecessor. In the House of Commons Sheridan gave an opponent the lie direct. Called upon to apologise, the offender said: ”Mr Speaker, I said the honourable member was a liar; it is true, and lam sorry for it.” Naturally, the person concerned was not satisfied, and said so. “ Sir,” continued Sheridan, “ the honourable member can interpret the terms of my statement according to his ability, and he can put punctuation marks where it pleases him.” COURTING. A recent book entitled “ of the Eigiities ” teils a story concerning a school inspector who was questioning a class on ttie parable of the Good Samaritan and the man who fell among thieves. “ Why did the Priest and the Levite pass by on the other side?” he asked. “ Because,” promptly replied an eager boy, “ the man had been robbed already, and so, you see, there was no -more to be got out of him." Another time a, recitation. contained the line.: “ On him each courtier’s eye was bent,” from the well-known passage in Scott’s “Lady of the Lake.” *3O he asked: “Wh&t is a courtier?” Whereupon a little girl replied with a, pretty blush and some confusion.’ “ Please, sir, a lad that has a lass.” A SUN WORSHIPPER. ; Prince Banjitshinhji, the famoui cricketer of aa v vs gone by, is to-day tn< Jam bahib oi Nawanagar, but onco when he was in England on a visit a certain society dame started d scussmg with him the various religions o ff India. “ I can understand/* she said, “ a Mohammedan venerating Mohan;med or a Buddhist worshipping Buddha, but I cannot conceive of a. cultured man being a Parsee and worshipping the sun.” The Jam Sahib gazed thoughtfully out of the window at the thick London fog. “ But my dear lady,” he said, “ you’ve no idea what a splendid, awe-inspiring sights the sun is. Y’ou should just see b once.” ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER. Sir 'William Orpen, the famous painter, amusingly illustrates “ A way they have in the Army ” in “ An Onlooker in France.” Sir William went to France as official war artist, and writes that one night while he war . staying at G.H.Q. Tanks he got “ blotto.” “It wasn’t altogether my fault people were so hospitable.” adds the artist. “ I left Tanks on a bitterly cold evening, and called at the Canadian chateau at Hesdin. It was tea-* time. The colonel, who saw that I was cold, gave me a whiskj'-and-soda, which he repeated when I left. I then to see Major Sir Philip Sassoon. c A whisky-and-soda for Major Orpen/ said he. When I got through half of it, his telephone bell rang. * Run upstairs, Orp, and Bee Allen; he’s laid up in bed.’ So off I went. ‘ and soda,’ said he. When I was about half-way through it there were footsteps on the stairs. ‘ That’s the Chief coming,* said he. 1 Gosh/' said I, and I pushed my whisky-and-soda under the bed. In came the C.-in-C. ‘ Hello, little man/ he said, * you look cold l and they don’t seem to be very hospitable here, either.* He rang the bell. The orderly came. 4 Bring Major Orpen a whisky-and-soda * he said. That did it. He talked for about ten. minutes and left. Then in came Philip with my half-finished drink, cursing, f I’ve been standing on those stairs with Orp’s drink for the last halfhour, waiting for the Chief to leave.* So, of course, I hod to finish it. I went on to see General Davidson, and he had a nice cocktail ready for ms, and a good bottle for dinner—after .yrhich I don’t remember anything, But it was a bit of had luck, one thing haj* pening after another like that/* NEW SUITS FOR OLD. Mr Arthur Warren, in hie hook of reminiscences, 14 London Dayg,” recalls a story told to him and George Meredith by John. Burns apropos the great dock strike. Meredith happened to ask Burns whether his dockers were ever suspicious of him. The query was put while they were sitting in Meredith’s garden, under the shadow of Box Hill. Burns laughed. “One morning I appeared in a new blue sergo suit like this, and a new straw hat like that. ‘ Where did you get* em. John?’ one man shouted. 4 He a makin more n sixpence out o’ us/ yelled another. Then I had to explain—anyhow. X did explain that Madame Tussaud’s had given me a new suit, so that they could put my old one on ,vax figure of me." SHIP’S SALVAGE FEAT. It will he remembered that during the war one of the finest and most modern of the Italian dreadnoughtsthe Leonardo da \ inci—was sunk in harbour. Before-her final disapearanco the great ship of 22,000 tons displacement turned turtle; and when tho divers investigated they found that she was lying deck down upon tho bottom. Here, indeed, was a problem, i inasmuch as the five heavy barbettes I and their turrets, with the 12-inch : guns, of which there were thirteen, j were buried in the mud. These heaiy weights acted as a sort of enormous deep underhung ballast to prevent the lifting and righting of the ship. First. >. the divers cut away the five turrets with their thirteen guns, lightening the ship to that extent. The hull was : then made watertight, raised bottom | up. floated into dry dock and un- ! watered there, \ the superincumbent j mass being carried upon special sup- | ports of cribbing and heavy timber ! struts, judiciously disposed under the ! whole deck of the ship so as to preperly receive the great concentrated i loads which are peculiar to battleship | construction. After additional deck ! weights had been removed the whole i hull was made thoroughly watertight, | the dock was flooded, and the ship, j still bottom up. was floated out into ! deep water. The task remaining was 1 to roll the ship over into its norma! position. This was dene by gradually flooding the side ballast tanks submerging one side of the ship deeper and deeper, until, by flooding tho bottom tanks adjoining the already flooded side tanks it. was possible to bring a righting movement into effect, which pulled the ship entirely over until she floated deck up