A TRAIN JOURNEY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 12754, 25 September 1919, Page 9

A TRAIN JOURNEY.

FOUNDED OH FACT, Written for the “ Stax.’’ If permits are issued to anyone who is not travelling for pleasure, .why, then, permits could be issued “ regard- I less.” It has been decreed by thoi-e in authority that trains should be few and far between, and that everything should be made as unpleasant as pns sible for the traveller; and they hart •succeeded beyond their wildest dreams On the permit is printed “This per mit, and any ticket issued hereon carries no undertaking on the part ol the Railway Department to convey t!«.; holder on any particular train or date. Any ticket issued to the bolder of this permit is issued subject to there being room on the train.” This last sentence is misleading. There is seldom half enough accommodation for those people who want to travel with any degree of comfort. Recently, armed with a permit and a ticket, I arrived at a station in the North Island fully a quarter of an hour before tho train time, to find that every scat was occupied, with the exception of those on which lay cards “reserved.” After several vain attempts made to get some assistance out of the various officials who were apparently doing nothing, I saw one porter who looked sympathetic and a. trifle melancholy. I commenced my tale of woe—here was I bound for a long journey and had no place to rest my weary self. He commenced by listening attentively, and I began to think that all was not lost, but as I proceeded his face changed, a smile appeared, and as I finished it broke into a broad grin. (I bad, without realising, it, cheered him up for the day.) “Lucky to get past the barrier,' miss,” adding withmuch relish, “ there’s dozens clamouring outside.” This may have meant to ho consoling, but it didn’t succeed. I said to him ; “Well, you needn’t look as if you had just won the first prize in Tatt’s—actually enjoying the discomfiture of people.” Evidently the best thing was to shift for myself. Once again a frantic search through the carriages, carrying my suitcase and an appealing look with me. I concluded that the only thing to do was to sit on one of tho seats marked “ reserved,” and wait to see what would happen. .1 sat down, but it I had sat on a' bomb I couldn’t have got ’up- quicker. A porter, in an awed_ and hushed tone said to me tremblingly: “That seat is reserved for a, member of Parliament.” This was the last straw. If anyone deserved to stand it was the aforesaid M.P. Wasn’t he, and others of his ilk, responsible for the conditions ? But I knew that it I had dared to as much as look at the hallowed seat the porter guarding it would have dropped dead with fright. Agin the Government? I should think so ! Agin everything! The train gave a jerk which almost sent mo headlong, and wo were off. 1 had a twelve hours’ journey before me, which twelve hours eventually turned out to be fourteen and a half hours, and I had no seat- There was nothing else for it. I prepared to make myself as comfortable as possible under the trying circumstances by putting a rug ou Hie floor and ensconcing myself thereon, regardless of the nasty looks that were cast upon me by the. occupants of comfortable seats. It is only fair to add that one elderly gentlev did ask me to take his seat, which _ refused with all the warmth 1 am capable of, and another man to sit in the guard’s van and let me have his chair. I refused. I started out to bo a martyr, and a martyr 1 would be. Besides I ‘had, after so many rebuffs from tho railway people, began to suspect people who were kindAt this stage, just when I was seated, a guard came through to ask inconvenient questions, and to punch the, tickets. He opened tho door against which I was leaning, letting mo fall back violently, stood ou mv toes, knocked off my best hat, which I was travelling in to save squashing into a hat box, murmuring tho while about overcrowding the trains. Overcrowding for sooth! I was the best qualified to talk about that! At each small station' along the line more people got in.. At length, in jsheey desperation, I determined to put an end to my misery. I went along tho train contemplating-suicide, thinking 1 would make the guards, the porters and the Government happy for ever, but I espied, one seat in a second-class carriage and sank into it exhausted. My peace was not to bo 1 of long duration. I might have known there was some reason for *tho vacant seat. There was. The woman sitting next me. was smelling of cheap—very cheap—scent. It was horrible. It permeated the whole carriage, and although I overheard a scathing remark about “ scented icmales ” from a man sitting opposite, the offender was apparently blissfully unconscious, or determined not to take offence- She didn’t. To make matters infinitely worse there were two or tiiree people who were positively enthralled with everything—they absolutely exuberated exuberance. They were delighted with one. another, with tho prospect of a holiday. (I suspected them of having “ had ” the Government somehow, slipped past the censor so to speak, and obtained their permits under false pretences.) I could have, forgiven them for this, but they gazed out of the windows, drawing one another’s attention to the passing show —going into ecstasies, rhaphodisiug ou each separate blade of grass- Then there was the inevitable, small boy, who would not git still, and the elderly man who complained every time a window was openedj and scowled as though he was the only person in the carriage with any right to travel. I herd this bravely for about twenty minutes,' having sat with my head well out of tho window to escape “ the scented lydy,” and went back to the other carriage, thankful to sit on the floor. This state of affairs lasted for -five hours, when ■we had to change trains. I made a wild dash for a seat, scattering people, luggage and half my own belongings to right, and left. A porter stopped me for exceeding the speed limit, assuring me that I need not hurry, as there was plenty of room. This delay proved fatal; I could not find a seat, hut “ thanks he ” a good Samaritan had se-

cured one for me'“by spreading herself, and the long journey recommenced under tolerable conditions, slowly slowly went the train, stopping at each small station—as one passenger remarked, “ It ■would have stopped at a, dog kennel.” Tho “go slow” policy at- its best. At nearly midnight i reached mv destination, hungry and tired, and more than ever convinced that no one could be accused of travelling for pleasure. The ironv of if STELLA.”