ME AND MY SON VILLUM.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 12646, 2 June 1919, Page 5

ME AND MY SON VILLUM.

(THE KAISER’S SOLILOQUY. Tie following entertaining but purely imaginative soliloquy is fastened on tho (X-Kaisor by "Cartoons Magazine for April Vhcn Hollandt took der Count (vhiuh Isa not my oboko nt all, but little Frederic V ilium’s, who, vben it.tomes to chokes iss a chip oif der old bloke, ns dor Peebles from Hoboken say)—as Ich vaa sayiugk, vben Job oiuue to Holbuidt last Nofcmbor it vims der best t’ing Ich efor diclt yedt, pec no so idt gafo mo a chance to t'ink. I’ecauso you can’t t’ink vben Lutendorlf mult Von Buelow undt t’oso Udder birds are aroundt yedt. You may t’ink you can t’ink; you may t’row out dor chest undt click der heels undt rattle der eyord—you may go t’rough nil der motions ot using der old bean, but dor Chunkers know dot it iss all oamouflaah undt dot Ich vas a dummy yedt. Undt uow, in der grandt undt glorious free air of Hollandt, Ich can t’ink der t’oughts dat rise vit’in mich, undt metitate-—eefen Ich can ruminate if loh please undt dore is no Chunker to clap my mout’ togot’er yedtUndt djs iss dor fought dat keeps .rinkingk in der ears—iff der Gherman Peebles vould ledt micli ho president of a Gherman ropuplic like der United »so day call it for der sake of euphony, ! Xch am toldt) States I All dev vould Imf to do vould be to fix idt up so dot Ich vould bo president so long as efor loh liff yedt, undt lectio Villum be president vben Ich kick in undt peeblo yhen dey speak of mich say. “ Gott in Hiemml I” To satisfy dor Allies Ich vould disarm a leedlo, snoqst enough to disarm suspicions, undt’ Villum vould bo vicepresident yedt. _ Dor poy has hit der’ high spots in Vienna, undt Paris undt Loudon,.undt vould make a scream ns vice anyt’ingks. Der Prince Oskar vould make a goot secretary of var, for in a ropuplic like America der secretary of var don’t hare to know nof inirks of var—undt Ock knows aboudt ns lecdle nbout < var as der Crown Prince, Undt Himmel knows der poy Villum Iss a vacuum In dat soopject. Undt how oassy it vould bo to make oop dor postmaster cheneral 1 In a ropuplic like der United (Ich use. dor renter vill see, dere own vord for idt) States der postmaster must bo run eboke. undt dere iss der Prince Ohoacli'm fender chob. Ich toldt der Grown Prince aboudt it veclt uiidt ho says, “Papa, you’ll naf to bnf a congress undt congresses are pretty hardt to handle.” Undt Ich says to him, " Not in a repp’dic. Tn a repuplin it is a cinch. v 0 vill have eferv year fifty million marks +o imnrove der Rhino mit. undt n billion marks' fer der Spree— a rokular oi onr 0 f spendingk der'moneys, undt vo mil 'mprove everyt’inaks, undt der nova in der congress vill do everyfinerk ve s'_'v. Undt if it comes to der vorst ve viH puv » few Ameriknner 'senators PPdt bring dem ofer for der congress yedt.”. And Villum oop undt asks: "Clan dey he ponnht. fader?” Ich t’ink dot poy is ehoost dcis not a had t’omrhfc if IcK can pi-’t it efo" as dey say in repuplics. I’-t, c-n Tab p . t-i. apu u, yonce F'''Uc, Top can do it again yedt Ve’llsee!