CHATTO AND THE PESSIMIST.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 11508, 2 October 1915, Page 7

CHATTO AND THE PESSIMIST.

Pessimist: " Ono who has something wrong with his feet." r Jftf —Unknown School Genius, -fr His mouth was like twenty-five past ' seven on a long-faced clock. -He -*WM| r at his usual game spreading dumps over the widest area he could , reat&j The rain was falling pitilessly; -tie > hotel verandah was full; spirit# wdn) > low; the Pesimist alone seemed ! ful. He had the company held glittering eye. " Just the weather for the he_ croaked; "it helps them L poison gas." . • *~ff J This bright thought appeared f i 4id cheer him, but the little yellow-bpi&j ' . mist in the cage above his stopped abruptly his tune of ' brighter skies to come. His wobdeis i brother in the Swiss clock seemed ( be making frantic efforts to burst «£orfi| i and say something, but subsided - wrai a rusty brrr of disgust._ Tlie st»&ans of poison gas went flowing on— ' Warsaw having now fallen, the tgpii of Petrograd vrould come., Gener&S von Schtuffenbeim. the grandest strati in the world, va» swift raid upon Odessa, llie BritjiaJt . working man was in German [ as were Bulgaria and Rumania. . All three would soon throw off t3sei£ mask, and so would President The Germans were fitting up ePSEJT; ship in their navy with a gun could drop shells from Antwerp iir£o > the harbour of Gibraltar, and wherg > should we be thenr '-r- ---> We gave it up, and. one old iaaj began to cry quietly into her chief. We should then have be^ I entertained with the incompetence : everything British and the never-torfe* Rufficientlr-admired foresight of e'vejy-' thing German, had not Chatto" bui£f& in upon the gloom like a respirator;- ,' . I u Hallo, Gargoyle," cried lie, 11 at; i again; cheering up the young making merry the hearts of the agetri How's the gout?" . i I The Pessimist replied with a ! that it had partly left his toe, but ihiflf he was feeling twinges in the " A very bad sign," said Chatto'*lß. his most sepulchral voice. "It : 'tk striking upward to the brain. ThstrS the way my poor Uncle George wentj or at least would have gone, had he' nW; taken it in time and stayed in That's where vou ought to be -thljjT blessed minute, instead of rattt&gj away, the life and soul of a merry coin pany, on a damp draughty verandafl You are looking frightfully bad; dH fellow. Isn't hep" he appealed toJM Wo all hastened to assure Mr-rGfIH govle that he was looking ghastly The Pessimist was HH have never seen such a fellow , Chatto," ho grunibied. "In you riGuS and scare the lot of us out of onriCTjHj with your confounded. pessimisnL shan't go to bed." But Chatto knew his man and' stttCfl to him. He was soon able to lead- i cowed Pessimist gently aside, cou raging him with murmurs of, u J ' week in bed will pass like a dream, Plenty of hot mustard!" ■- Before parting. Chatto winked.the assembled company _ and saiiJj You mustn't mind anything he's bee® saying to you. He's a dear old I've known him for years. HeV_,iHa right, but"—and here he forehead, significantly—" he thinks the editor of the ' Daily Mail.' " . I Here the sun came from ! cloud'; the old lady put down her ! kerchief and smiled again; the canao resumed' grand opera, ancT the cuckp© "hurst forth from his chalet and croi&eil defiantly thirteen times.—" Punch.'*?: 1 - in his career a smart young tlr'nking to perplex him, sent" tip' ths> following note, requesting a pubh'c t#»' ply: " Dear Mr M'NeiH—lf yon ar«' seeking to enlighten young men. kincfc* ly tell me who was Cain's wife." M'Neill read the note, and then, amia breathless silence,, paid: " I love yaunj£ U'.en —inquirers for truth especially—l and' should like to give this young* lusui a ward of advice. It is thla:l Don't lose your soul's salvation in-*; quiring afler other men's wives," |