ROBERT AT THE HEREFORD HOTEL.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 5989, 26 July 1887, Page 3

ROBERT AT THE HEREFORD HOTEL.

Cucumstances connected with my ! domeatick affairs have just brofc me out to thia moat hintoresting portion of Her Gratious Majesties domanes. As I heer that most veil red and heddicated peeple in Chiistchurch take and reed that widely cercullated peere-hodiole Punch, they wont want retnindering that jellusy of a most unfunded karekter has teniporullily ruined the peeee of my domestick arth. My Mary Harm the wife of my busum, the mother of i my blessed hinfants, has fallen a victim to the green-hide monster, and I have cum to the conclusion that the best thing is to see if Hftbßenß6 will make the hart grow fonder! No sooner did I land than I rent in my kard to the landlord of the Hereford. He knew my fame, and sed, Robert, I hale you artilly. To morrow 40 gents sup here, and you shall kum. At first I tbort I must decline the 'onor. For a Ed- waiter as ad lately stood behind Lord Sorlsbury and Lord Mares -without bends, to come down to oister and stake suppers, even tho washt down with abundance of the ighest class shampane, seem'd in for a dig. But I remember 'd the advise of Lord Maro Fowler. He sed to me one day, " Robert," sez he, "when you goto a Room do as the Room does," and werry good advise too. I am allers punctooal, and on this ospioious occashun I kep up that karikter. Kuriosity made me anxius to see how they maniged there feedin at the hantipodies. The oisters where as fat and tender as the best natifs. The 40 visiturs, who are all polikal Reformers, averidged 3 dozen apoace. One little fat gentleman, who his fermilier frends calld Pickwick, swailerdp duzzen and a arf. It okured to me that if these Reforming Gents made as N kleen a sweap of all abuses as they N did of the oisters, there would soon be none left. The Chareman whos horspitality is I heer a provub in this city, struck me as havin the raakins of a promising Lord Mare. A few years more kareful feedin and drinkin the rite sorb of stuff, and he will develup in the rite direcshun. When he skales 20 stun, he will be a credit to the grate Copperaßhun of London itself. The wines supprised me. with there exelence, though cum of them seem'd to be better nown. than trusted by those Gents who I heer imported them. The guest of the evning was a nice hunassumin young man who wore a brown wig. The Chareman spoke of him as a lnarter to the vilelence of a howlin mob, but he did not rellish this as much as I hobserved he did the devil'd sardeens. He Bed he had no fault to find with, the peeple, -who were rite not to heer him if they liked. On the hole, the speekin was a3 good as I hive herd at the Manshen House, except on the Lord Mare's day, when the Prime Minister and other big wigs dress down the peeple. Tordß the close of the entertanement the wine began to wurk. Very hangry feelina was exprest against the Times papers, and the party sined a round robbin agreein to take all there advertisiu away from tho Times and give it to the Press. They sed they would givemuney to moke the Press & hate-page peny paper, and smash up the Times. A yung Gent who they told me was aßankur, sed there woodbe no difficulty at all about the muney. He new wun Bank at any rate that wood only be too pleezed to give a hoverdraught to those who went in for such a 'oly cauze. Another* Gent; a leeding shairbroker, sed he'd run the new Company without comishun and make it hup when the Bbair3 changed: hands" by gettin hia comishuns out of both sides — bier and cellar. Then they give three timeß three for the emaßhin up. They seem'd a verry pepperry lot of gents, but lor, I've seen 'em so verry often, when the wine gos round too fast. It generally vaporates, and cums to nuthing in the mornin. EOBERT.