SKETCHES IN WELLINGTON.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 722, 15 September 1870, Page 3

SKETCHES IN WELLINGTON.

The following, by "A Vagabond," have appeared in the Daily Advertiser. The first, as will be seen, is general ; the second relates to the Legislative Council, and third to the House of Hepresentatives : — A stranger and a vagabond in this magninificent city, time was hanging heavily on my hands. Excluded from the polished circles of Wellington aristocracy on account of the seediness of my appearance, having no money, and the supposed lowness of my birth, I was fain to fall back upon the society of another vagabond whom I knew in days of yore. Ah, me I when I look back upon those times now gone for ever —my vagabond friend was then a rich country gentleman, he had horses, and carriages, and servants, galore, no one bo courted in the country as he. I learned to play billiards at his house when I was a very young vagabond, and dropt my shillings on the stroke, as in after days I dropt my pounds. But we are both poor and seedy now, and one great Wellington magnates whose mother used to sell me in my youthful days pen'ortha of hardbake and questionable pastry, passes me in the street with a cold stare, and would as soon think of introducing me to his daughters, the descendants of the village lollyshop woman, as he would a convict from the hulks. Why ? Simply because I am poor and needy and he is rich and prosperous. My friend and I moralise on these things, and grin cynically over them. Here, we say, is a man born in a village lollyship, ignorant and vulgar, emigrating to the colonies, he began by slow degrees to amass wealth, not perhaps in. the most reputable way ; still, he amassed it, climbing upwards and kicking down the ladders behind him ; he became great in the land of his adoption, and while the fat red fingers of his vulgar wife were quivering with funk at the idea of dancing with a Royal Duke, his mother was dying; in the parish workhouse of his native village. Such is life, at least in the colonies ; to be great and good you must be rich ; to be a fit member of genteel (?) society, you must belong to the moneyed snobocracy. Much poverty and disappointment hath made me cynical, and perhaps as a consequence, frequently unjust. I can't help it — my gorge will persist in rising, whenever I contemplate the stuck-up airs of a certain section of colonists who would be nobodies if they were not rich ; and being rich, and with it vulgar, and ungrateful, and sordid, and purse-proud, are to my mind objects of pity and contempt. There fly away Moneybags into apace, I heartily thank Heaven the colony is not composed altogether of such as tbee. My friend and I, tired of the dreary pastime of parading Lambton Quay, where nothing is to be seen worth criticising, and much shoe leather is worn out therefore unnecessarily, betook ourselves the other night to a lecture. It did us good when we least expected it. We went prepared to sneer at the audience and carp at the lecturer, and we came away without having taken any notice of the listeners at all, and with lumps in our throats and warmth in our hearts, which we have not felt for many a day. We Blunk off to our dreary lodging, we filled our tumblers with the nightly nip (the only one we can afford), we said not a word, but, looking into each other's eyes, we solemnly drained our glasses. Words were unnecessary, but we had drank that lecturer's health in a more sincere and hearty way than any language could have expressed, and we went silently to bed. That lecturer haunts me still — a gentleman, every inch of him — a pleasant genial gentleman, a well-bred

thoroughly honourable gentleman, a gentleman, Moneybags, such as you will never be, but whom I hope your son may humbly try to imitate. One of those few gentlemen, who, by preserving a high standard of honour, by leading pure and blameless lives, by avoiding grasping covetousness and the mean political trickeries so rife in all new countries, serve to keep the colony from plunging into that abyss of moral degration into which it would certainly fall if Moneybags and his like had supreme sway. I am told, to my delight, that that lecturer has refused one of those tinsel titles which a paternal Government bestows with singular indiscrimination and incongruiity upon bloated Aldermen, celebrated only for the giving of dinners, and men of genius, such as the inventor of the electric telegraph. I began by alleging that time was hanging heavily on my hands— l used the past tense, because it is so no longer — we poor vagabonds having nothing else to do wandered about a week ago into the Strangers' Gallery ( a most dismal den) of the House of Representatives, and we " struck ile " at once. Here we have a rich source of never-ending cynical enjoyment, and we are literally revelling in it. We go every night, and mean to do until the end of the session. What will happen to us when those remarkably entertaining gentlemen go horne — some of them, alas, never to return — we do not like to contemplate; but lest we should not have another opportunity of compiling materials from which the future historian will be able to correctly describe the " men of the time," the other vagabond and myself are about placing our views before the public in the shape of a series of papers, entitled "Sketches in the New Zealand Parliament," which we think will be at once amusing and instructive.

We have been to the House of Lords, and our enjoyment of the impressive scene was immense. In the first place, the gallery is roomy and comfortable, and in the second there was no detective watching us, not even a messenger to cast suspicious glances at us. When we had recovered our breath, after the shock of seeing so many noblemen all at once, and our eyes had got accustomed to the glare of the red morroco seats, I began to look about me in search of amusement. I know I ought to have gone to such a place as thiit with other intentions. I ought to have said, now you are going to see the bulwarks of the country, the mighty ones who protect you from the evil consequences of rash and hasty measures passed by the benighted Representatives of the mob in the other House — the creme de la crenae of New Zealand society — the men who have no vulgar election contests to fear, and can therefore legislate for the benefit of the people in the way they know to be good for them, calmly indifferent to the howlings of infuriated electors. I say I ought to have had all this in my mind, perhaps, as I sat in that gallery. Some such sentiments were beginning to form themselves, when a voice, which had been speaking, suddenly concluded with these words, " and the proposals of this Bill will ba finally arranged." I looked over the gallery, and there, wiping his bald head with a red bandana, and waving his hand with a melancholy air as he resumed hi 3 seat, was one who I never new had taken up his residence in New Zealand, although most people know he emigrated to Australia. There was no mistaking that man — it waß Micawber. How he came here, when he earns here, what his territorial title is I know not, but after seeing him there, it was impossible to be grave. So I laid myself out for amusement, and had plenty of it. In the chair T recognised the lecturer, whom I have before alluded to, and the sight of him made me feel inclined to be sober and respectable ; but taking my eyes off him they fell upon old Money-bags, swelling with importance, and talking in dignified whispers to Lord Turveydrop, who eat next to him. That was too much for my gravity. After a decorous pause of about ten minutes, the last-named peer rose and said something about "standing orders," which, provoked from a lively young Irish peer, who has not long been created, the happy remark, " that he thought it would be a goodthiugif the House would give his LordBhip 'sitting' orders, and that he would obey them." Every peer glared at that daring young man withstony eyes, and lexpect he is not likely to attempt funny remarks in that house again. On the left of the Speaker I noticed Sir Leicester (now Lord) Dedlock. He was grim and stiff, as might be expected, and appeared every two minutes to be taking something out of a bit of paper, which he put to his note. I heard afterwards that, to show his contempt for wealth (in which he is rolling, and never puts anything in the plate on Sundays), he carried his snuff in a bit of writing paper. He was certainly prodigal in handing it about to those near him, and even gave the Speaker some. Then one of the Ministers sent across for snvff, and every one seemed to take snuff : boxes were being handed about in all directions, and I wondered whether it was not emblematical of the time when these snuffy old peers will be snuffed out by the mob they affect to despise. There, I'm getting cantankerous again, and it's hardly fair, because I really heard a few as good, and one or two far better, speeches than any I heard from the elect of the mob. But I can't shut my eyes to the fact that Moneybags, and Turvey drops, and Dedlocks, are not the class of men to occupy seats in that Chamber. Rather cool of a vagabond like me talking in thig way of peers of the realm. Let's take another look at the " old boys." There's one smooth red-faced nobleman just going to speak. Oh ! you occupy an analagouß position to the House of Lords in England, do you, my Lord ? and you occupy a very much higher social position than members of the other branch of the Legislature ? and no one should be created a peer except he has blood, breeding, and wealth ? Very good, my most noble lord ; but if the two former qualifications be requisite, how came Moneybags, Turveydrop, and old Micawber in your midst ? There

wag such an awful pause between each speech , to allow the brains of the peers to digest i what they had heard, and to show the public , that matters are conducted in the most dignified way, that my friend and I soon left, having a desire to hear a celebrated speaker in the other House. We purpose, however, returning to that House, as we hear there is a sprinkling of cocky young peers who hold high festivals occasionally, and quite shock : and scandalise tho old parties. Well, it ; must be trying to that good Speaker to sit i there night after night listening to some of the . twaddle; and I should think he blesses the ■ Government which had the pluck to introduce a few young bloods to make the thing ! a little more lively. If the session lasts long i enough, I shall take the noble gentlemen one ; by one, as I am doing the lower order in "the ; other House," and photograph them in these \ papers for the benefit ef posterity.

[ For forty-eight hours I have been unable to write a line. Deep sorrow has filled my ' heart : my amusing friends are rapidly leaving. Th? sight of so many going on Patur- \ day was too much for my feelings. I felt affectionately inclined even towards the Vulture, and cried out in the bitterness of my soul, " Stay but for one abort month more, and leave me not thus suddenly alone with no amusement but the most dismal task of trying to extract fun out of the municipal speeches of a Bannatyne, a Plimmer, and a modest Joe.' " Alas 1 my entreaties fell upon unheeding ears, but one bullet-shaped little man who had baen to see the Vulture off, and had stood for a quarter of an hour, at least, wringing that bird's claw, noticed my looks of distress, and kindly put a shilling into my hand, which I proceeded to invest in something to drown my sorrows. My bullet-shaped friend came in, and was extremely friendly and communicative. He said he was a living illustration of the fallacy of a certain proverb about " sitting on two stools," as he had tried that plan for a long time, and had never come to grief yet. At present he was leaning more of his weight on the General than the Provincial Government stool, as the latter was, he thought, rather shaky. The seat, however, was comfortable and well stuffed ; so he kept one hand on it, aa, in the event of the carpenter's examination being favourable to its lasting some time longer, he could slip back to it if so inclined. He added that he had displayed such remarkable agility in keeping his balance between the two stools that his friends had nicknamed him the " Admirable Grichton," and his enemies the " Political Blondin." He was such a hospitable little man, and would press me to join him so frequently iv jorums of steaming punch, that I soon forgot my departed friends, and woke next morning with a splitting headache and a confused idea that two stools were dancing round the room, chased by a bullet-ahaped little man, who was invoking either of them to come to him, as he had made up his mind only to sit upon one for the future. I rubbed my eyes, and lo lit was a dream. Well, so many members have gone, and all are said to be going at the end of the week, that my hopes of giving a sketch of each will be blighted. I meant to have described the great guns last ; but now there is no time. Well, as they are nearly all likely to come back again, the world must wait until next session, when, if I am atill a loafing vagabond, I shall devote my small abilities to their portraiture. The portly gentleman in the short velveteen coat will need a chapter to himself, and I shall be better able to describe him than any of the others, as I have known him longer. He taught me the art, when I was at school at Heidelberg, of negotiating "Loans," but the art has brought me to grief, and him to place and power. The colony, when he came into office, wag like a person suffering from snake bite, the extremities were cold, the action of the heart scarcely perceptible, and the whole frame torpid, but by the injection of a golden fluid into the reins, my old acquaintance is sanguine of effecting a cure. A majority of the present political doctors believe he will succeed, and it is a singular fact that the mere mention of the intended remedy seems to have arrested the progress of the disease, the patient has seemed a little more lively, and expressed a wish to try the remedy as soon as posiiblo. There is one very highly respected old politioal doctor who occupies a front seat on the Opposition Benches, who shakes his head very gravely, and strongly disapproves of the proposed remedy ; he would stick by the old

prescriptions of Grey and Bell, but the young go-a-head doctors are too many for him, " and. they tell him that such a deadly disease requires a more potent and dangerous remedy, than any of the doctors of New Zealand have been in the habit of using. He cannot be brought to sea the force of their arguments, and time will show whether the old school or the new is in the right. There is another member who has taken my fancy very much. I am sorry I shall not have time to make a complete sketch of him this session. He has made his mark in hia profession already, and has recently had some sharp dis- . putes with the inventor of the "golden fluid." This Dr Hezekiah will take front rank yet — all the rising young doctors believe in him, although they want to see him cast aside some of his old Conservative theories ; and they think if he would take the trouble to analyse the " golden fluid," he would not be afraid of its ef£ect9. I hear he does believe in the fluid if given in minute dsse3, but the inventor and the young doctors say small doses are no good, but rather dangerous — that the only way to administer it with advantage is to inject sufficient to make the veins swell nearly to bursting.

V WOHDEBFDL CAPACITT OF THE RhUTEXUtosbstokWine. — The wonderful capacity for drink of the Khinelanders is amusingly illustrated by Goethe in his journals. " The Bishop of Mayence," he says, " once delivered a sermon against drunkenness, and, after painting in the strongest colours the evils of over-indulgence, concluded as follows ; — ' Bat the abuse of wine does not exclude its use, for it is written that wine rejoices the heart of man. Probably there is no one in my congregation who cannot drink four bottle 3 of wine without feeling any disturbance of his senses ; but if any man at the seventh or eighth bottle so forgets himself as to abuse and strike bis wife and children, and treat his best friends as enemies, let him look into his conscience, and in future always stop at the sixth bottle. Yet, if after drinking eight or even ten or twelve bottles, he can still take his Christian neighbour lovingly by the hand, and obey the orders of his spiritual and temporal superior*, let him thankfully drink his modest (sic) draught. He must be careful, however, as to taking any more, for it is seldom that Providence gives anyone the special grace to drink sixteeen bottles at a sitting, as it has enable me, its unworthy servant, to do without either neglecting my duties or losing my qemper.' " u Amsblcah Pbeßs Criticism.— lf Ameri-cans-are, as has often been said, extremely Sensitive to the criticisms of strangers, they certainly are not spared by their own press, which seems to take malicious pleasure in exaggerating the various social and national peculiarities, and placing them in the most humorous light. This is how the San Franoisco News Letter, while pretending to describe' some " senatorial fixings," amusingly caricatures some of the supposed features of legislative proceedings in California :— " Two elegant desks of Spanish mahogany have just been made in this city for the Speaker of the House and the President of the Senate at Sacramento. We have seen one of these desks, and pronounce it good. It possesses several , novel and ingenious features, peculiarly adapted to the needs of American statesmanship. In the centre of its upper surface is set a silver spittoon, underneath which, in letters of gold, is the appropriate legend, ' Spit here.' On the right-hand upper corner is a beautiful bracket of bronze, with the touching motto, in very German text, •Put Your Feet Here.' On the left is a shallow drawer, lined with crimson velvet, to contain a bottle. ; a corresponding one on the right is intended for a revolver. The inkBtand is of heavy iron, and is attached to the desk by a strong lariat, long enough to reach the most remote member in the hall." Ameeican Gibls in.'Pabis. — The following is from the Sydney Morning Herald : — Our correspondent " Stella " sends the following amusing account of the triumph of American girls in the fashionable world of Paris, and -the consequent jealousie of their aristocratic compeers : — The fact that the Prince Imperial is becoming a "youth" has been farther emphasised to the world of fashion, by bis having danced the Cotillon at the conclusion of the Empress's last private ball with a beautiful young American girl, Miss Payne, whose first appearance at the Tuileries created a certain sensation in that exalted region a few weeks ago. As the Cotillon is an affair of fiat least a couple of hours, implying, and; indeed, necessitating a sort of gosiiping intimacy, for the time being, between, the leaders of- the merry surprises which their example imposes on the likl trf-thtrflaufcctß* ■ w tiohat-c to imitate; ollthe oddities performed by the leading couple —^tiuch a distinction naturally sets all theother ladies dying of envy. The way in which the very pretty, very dressy, and very rich daughter! of the Republic have taken to get them-, selves invited to the Tuileries and carrying off -the best titles 1 in the matrimonial field (generally held by poor men)j is exoitiug every year a direr ire in the minds of French mamas ;' as "witness the following angry explosion ju'si^ut forth in ■ an ' article on the summer fashion*)' ld M. deGirardiri's paper, the J 2ißerte:— i" Sow charming are bur young Frthch girls! by watchful mothers, tttey'i'learn nptliing'-df life but virtue; too limpia't6 : be confused, too white to' be tarnfinrad,ignorant of danger from which they are pfeser?ed~by' 'their very "chastity, t they float tnftugbHhe world 1 like dovesttirougti a te'mpttjtuous ;'-Bky, * the lightning not touching tfiftir wingsl' ri Whait a contrast do they preMJ&. s in ; their ■virginal purity to the wild medley of American^ girls one meets with everywhere, of American- 1 girls 'dressed and traitcd ■out' like hoMea -on-paradey - nothing befogr/fflr*ntinir-rto~?compl«te- the -lUkenese, neither L ; tbtfiniao¥±ndn ihU croup tflv'i What need is there to invite these daughters ofibe Disunited States everywhere, of. whom^here. are some who habitually occupy the 'boxes of the third row at the opeara;- behintt the drop-^ scene,, where they cultivate .their minds. afl* J UBar«a -by listening to 1 i the - sbft coir-' ferences between the ballet dancers and petits Creoles? In ythis 4emocraticyday, th? daughters of the jHinireei tfeidMltfi plebeian! feet the royal s&lfT of the Tuilerift ; whilst noble descendants ot bigbdjarons and ancient knights are "forced to hide^in ruined manorhouses their disdained nobility? .The angry writer forgets to add how many of ihe male descendants E of "the barons and knights aforesaid are'retHiilding their dilapidated ' manor-' bouseß ' with thef ' millions ' of dollars brought into th&r empty exchequers by the pretty American girls aforesaid 1 " hBEQOVEaTr-.OS 1 TBEASOKB 7BOH Vl<JO': Bat.— The Pall Mall Gazette of May 27 has the following : — The attempt- to recover the treasure sank -in -*Vig'o 'fiay-more 150 years ago is turning put successful. .After 19 days' search made with large diving-bells, 15 galleons are reported to have been found lying at a depth of a few hundred feetrarrd on' knocking a hole into the sfde]of the Almirante, some ingots, -plate, and, valuable arms were found by"' the"' divers. Howeverf further researches have been suspended for the moment, until the Custom-house authorities shall have conceded a safe place to deposit the

treasure. The Almirante and her consorts were sent to the bottom during the war of Spanish succession, and have remained immersed in the port of a poverty-stricken nation during the whole time of the Bourbon occupation . Hardly had Queen Isabell a been driven from the throne than a Spanish banker long settled in Pariß made overtures to the Government at Madrid, and on condition of handing over nearly half the treasure in case of success, M. Pereire received permission to look for the sunken ingots. As the galleons have been lying at the bottom since the year 1702, some time was necessarily required to free them from a large accumulation of sand, but letters from Spain Bay that this part of the task has been accomplished. A French account of the Vigo affair says that Count Chateau-Eenault was ordered to escort the Indian fleet returning from Vera Cruz, when it wag chased by 150 Dutch and English vessels. Chateau Renault wished to run into a French port, but the Spanish admiral, Don Manuel de Valesco, obstinately refuted. Hence the Vigo disaster, which surpassed that of the Hague ; 18 French vessels and 28 galleons laden with wealth were taken or destroyed, and there was hardly time, through the energy of the captain, to send a few millions ashore. Lord Mahon, whose version is somewhat different, dwells at some length on the circumstances attending this affair. He says that our fleet was on its way backjto England when the Duke of Ormond received intelligence that the treasure ships had gone into Vigo to avoid him. The cargo was said to consist of £3,000,000, besides much valuable merchandise. The English and Dutch admirals and generals resolved on action. The Spaniards might have saved their treasure by landing it, but there was a fundamental law against galleons unloading anywhere but at Cadiz ; and the Chamber of Commerce refused, on application being made to it, to bate one jot of its privileges. The matter bad to be referred to the Council of India, and that body deliberated just a day too long. Chateau-Re-nault and Don Manuel threw up a few feeble defences at the mouth of the harbour, but the English ships broke the boom thrown across the entiance, and Ormond and his soldiers stormed the forts. The French burned their ships and made their escape ashore. The conquerors shared some millions of dollars, and some millions more were sunk. According to Lafuente the doubloons got on shore through Gallio energy were soon captured, and " immense riches in gold, silver, and precious merchandise disappeared under the waves." We shall sopn know what amount of wealth has been lying idlein so unaccountable a manner since 1702.