ALL SPICE.

Observer, Volume X, Issue 607, 16 August 1890, Page 4

ALL SPICE.

Claws in the will— Fingers of the lawyers. A man who fools his time away. — The circus clown. .Respectability is contagious, but, like other contagions, you can't always catch it when you want it. Patrick : ' Now I'm a leavin' of yer, sir, I don't mind tellin' yer as the key o' the kitchen door fits your wine cellar.' A man has to have moral courage to refrain from looking sideways at the letter his next neighbour in the car ia diligently reading 1 . A woman can't refrain anyway. Snypes : Seems to me these advanced- school doctors carry things a little too far, don't you know. Pypes : Why so, dear boy ? Snypes : Why, there's Doctor Jones, now. He made me swallow a glass eye, to see whtt the matter was with my liver. Fitz Dood : I'm going in foh athletics, Gawge. Swellville : Don't say so, ol' chappie. Fitz Dood : Got to do it — doctah ordahs it. Swellville : Going to twy the Indian clubs ? Fitz Dood : No ; I fawncy I will twy rolling my own cigarettes. I have tasted the savage pleasure Of a reinless fanny-flight— Of ghastly churchyard revels With skeletons, ghosts, and devils On some weird, enchanted night ! —From ' Heine,' by J. L. Kelly. The following advertisement is from a country newspaper : — ' Wanted, an able-bodied man at country rectory, willing to make himself generally useful ; must have a thorough knowledge of chickens, pigs, and understand milking; must be able to drive horses and groom them; ring th« church bells, dig graves, be cheertul mourner, and not object to carry coffin ; where parlour maid is Kept.' IDo you ever go to Led with cold feet ?' asked the medical man. I No, sir,' said the patient. ' How do you manage it . ' Oh, I just lay down the law.' ' What do you mean i' ' Why, I never have cold feet myself, and I won't let her get into bed till hers are warm also.' The customers of a cooper in the North caused him a great deal or vexation by their saving habits and persistence in getting all their tubs and casks repaired ; buying but very little new work. I 1 stood it long enough, however,' saiu he, ' until one day old AlacCabrie brought in an old buner-hole, to which he said he wanted a new barrel made. Then I quitted the Morth in disgust.'