THE TEN STAGES.

Thames Star, Volume XIII, Issue 4266, 2 September 1882, Page 4

THE TEN STAGES.

A Sunderland police-sergeant once came in for a wigging from Mr Simpson, then on the Bench, for not being able to say to wbat extent a prisoner was drunk. In order to be prepared on all -questions of the kind in future, he wrote, in bis pocket-book, viz. .—Sobriety—when sober, there is not much disposition to talk, and a glass or two' predisposes to sleep. Litelj—This state is reached by a glass or two more. Reasoning powers good, and * hat said is smart and pertinent. .. Fresh — Another - glass and the drinker is still more eloquent but less logical. His jokes are capital in his own estimation. His perception is still tolerably clear, beyond himself. Very fresh—Conversation more,highly colored; eSoquencc, impassioned ; and . the drinker overwhelms bis companions with a flood of talk, and begins to suit the action to the word. : Tipsy—Gestures very vehement, and epithets much exaggerated. Argumentative but not rational. Words considerably abridged, and ideas lamentably obscured. Wry' 1 tipsy —Got a turn for Tocal music. Speechifies in incoherent language, and evinces a most decided ten* dency to mischief and locomotion. Proud as a peacock, brave as a lion, and armorous as a dore. Drunk—Perversely quarrelsome, and stupidly good-natured ; dealing much in shake-bands and knock-downs; tongue stammering and feet unsteady. .Tery drunk—Abortive attempt to appear sober;. see everything double; balance totally lost, and vocabulary reduced to a few. interjections. Stupidly drunk—Head and stomach topsyturvy; eyes fixed aßd glaring; utter incapacity for speech and locomotion, -accompanied with an indistinct consciousness of tbe situation. Dead drunk—Trying to hold on to the floor, or, if asleep, confused dreams of the devil or creditors. 3