HARD FOR MINISTERS.

Timaru Herald, Volume CXXXIV, Issue 18822, 10 March 1931, Page 10

HARD FOR MINISTERS.

NORTH OF ENGLAND PARISHES. The curious fact that interruptions of church services arising from disputes between vicar and congregation occur mostly in the North of England —the latest “scene” being at Whitley Bay—has brought bright comment from the Rev. H. G. Wilks, Vicar of Upperthong. Huddersfield. I shall not be surprised one day (he writes in the "Sunday Dispatch,”) to open my newspaper and read the headline. “Village Blacksmith Hurls Pulpit at Vicar.” Without reading further. I should conclude that the spot of bother occurred in the North. Yorkshire, Lancashire, and Durham appear to specialise in church shindies. Almost every week we hear of same first-class rumpus between parson and people. In most cases the scene is laid ’twixt Trent and Tweed. “Not North” are by-words in the Church of England clerical world. Advertisement columns in the Church Press bear weekly witness to the constant aversion of parsons to the North of England.

Men apply for "change of sphere.” They recite their requirements; tne tailpiece is invariably “Not North”! When the average Northern vicar gets a “call” to the South he prays for guidance in the study while his wife is upstairs packing the trunks. Anything to get out of the North. Unless a parson has a sense of humour plus the skin of a rhinoceros, he should steer clear of work in the North. I intend this as a direct compliment to the Tykes and the Geordies. In Yorks, Lancs, and Durham, if you don’t suit them as a parson they tell you so, and it’s good for you.

"Yes know, vicar, we believe in speaking our mind,” said the Yorkshire warden. If the parson replies, “And so do I,” he’s made a good start.

Woe betide him if he seeks refuge in clerical aloofness and banks all on his authority and dignity. He’ll soon be blown out by the over-draft.

The North respects the man before the cloth; the South is inclined to reverse the degree of esteem. Conviction brings Wigan to church; Torquaj' attends moring prayer more as a matter of course.

Most of the serio-comic disputes have had their beginnings over the most trifling affairs. Are Northerners unduly touchy? Or are parsons tactless?

Early training leaves its mark. Most parsons in the Church of England have to learn by hard experience that tact and adaptability count for much more than theology in the North. Providing the vicar is a "decent bloke . . . human like . . . and easy to hit it off with,” Northerners don’t mind if he takes matins in pyjamas or evensong in plus-fours. Things assume their logical proportions.

But often the parson’s training is a distinct handicap. Three years at the 'Varsity, followed by a dose of some theological college, and lo! he is let loose on a parish with the bishop’s license and a dog-collar. His heart’s right, but his head is often wrong. His zeal and enthusiasm are commendable, but the application pitiful. Upsetting local Church traditions is at the bottom of most parochial trouble.

Peace in the parish is often sacrificed over piffling points not worth two pins.

A successful parson in the North knows how to handle the situation. He has taken a post-graduate course and obtained the degree of "Master of Tact,” the only degree which counts there. A parson earns respect by qualifying as a he-man.

Why should clerics fight shy of the North? Work here is a great tonic. Parsons stay younger; the folk keep ’em alive.

If a parson remains sane and human, avoiding the development of kinks, the North will back him. Unfortunately, men who enjoy sheltered professions! usually do develop kinks. The parson lacks the chastening element of the competitive system. Unless he trips over Punch and Judy, he a safe crib—nothing much to "reel on,” as we say in Yorkshire, but the income is secure.

Every man seeking orders in the Church of England should be required to produce evidence of having earned his own living in a secular occupation for at least five years.