Fond of his Bed.

Timaru Herald, Volume XIIIC, Issue 14211, 28 May 1910, Page 3 (Supplement)

Fond of his Bed.

THE CHAMPION LAZY MAN. London rtossesses, among a few other treasures, the laziest man on earth. I '.- s is Archibald Depau, who since 1!>04 lias, it is solemnly avowed, snent niiie-teen-tweutieths of his life in bed, Iving on sofas, or sleeping in chairs. 'The other day Archibald was compelled by cruel law to dray; himself out of bed and attend the police court to show cause why his wife should not get a separation order.

He sat with a dreamy, far-away look on his face while cuuns'ei who appeared tor Mrs Depau endeavoured to sketch his character and habits. "•Since 1904 he has been afflicted with chronic laziness/' said counsel. "He lies in bed for six weeks at a. time. Once his wife pulled him out and put him out in the back yard, but he crawied through a. window end "got into bed again. Ho is, in fact, afflicted with a weariness that would enable him to snore on a flint." Situations have been offered to Archibald, hut he always has some excuse for not taking them. One excuse was thai he wanted a. new set of teeth and his hair dye;!. He is too lascv even to was'n himself.

An inspector of the X.S.P.C. told how lie had pleaded witli Depau for a year, but to no nurrjoso. '•T have found him in bed at ail hours." he said, "even at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Tie complained of insomnia, and f pointed out to him that he could not expect to sleet) both dav and night."

At this point Deoau made a great effort. '4 In,ac tri«d to work," he murmured wearily, --but mv hands become blistered."

Mrs Deoan oxolaiuod that she had even lifted the bed and her husband in her unsuccessful efforts to dislodge Kim. "'vie was scut, to prison in Sentember last, and as soon as ho came back he went straight to boo'. Throe gentlemen called ar,d offered him a situation, and T and my son tried to rmsh him out of bed in order that he might go to it. Yt e managed to get him out of the house, but when he returned in the evening he admitted that lie had not gone to the situation. - '

Poo" Ai-ehie was 100 tired to ask his wife any questions, and she got her separation order.

There is a faint hope for Dct>an, he if said. ("To has been in p. Salvation Army shelter for a, couple of davs, and it is recorded in his favour that he has actually scrubbed the floor of a Clllv.clc.

Archibald, bv the wav. stands in ...me dange" of losing his dure,- u- .).;... He has r serious rival in -be l.u-b-nd. <:._j. la.dv who apv.cf.rcd at f.'d Street Police Court next dav. She de-1.-.-ed t!, :1 , i, f ,,. husband scent t!ie greater o-iri of his time in bed. "lU' was once a mntor-oinnilv-s driver. ■■ said sh». "but he nulled his

•"'■miihus up bv the roadside, turned oil the nassengers off. and went to slecv> in the omnibus. Then they dismissed him."