A SURPRISE PARTY.

Taranaki Herald, Volume LXIII, Issue 144711, 21 June 1915, Page 5

A SURPRISE PARTY.

(By Walt Mason.) In gloomy state tho Kaiser sits, communing with hia dachshund, Fritz. "Alas, pup,” tho war lord sighs, "tlio last fauA hope within mo dies; 1 see at last I have no chance to wallop Albion and France. M3' counsellors should be in gaol; they filled mo with a fairy talc. I hoy told me France was weak and frayed, a nation obsolete, decayed ; they said that if I fired a gun the French would have a fit and run. They said old England, gone to seed, was too inert to fight and bleed, too much wrapped up in idle sport, in football field and tennis court, and she would crumble at a kick, and I, they said, should do the trick. They told me Russia was a joke, a laud disorganised and broke, whose people lacked all martial fire, and vodka was their one desire. And so I took my sword and shield, and snickersnee, and went afield. Those counsellors have told mo fibs, for France has kicked mo in tho ribs, and England, which they said was -yeah, lias spread my nose all o’er m3' cheek, and Russia cut out gin and beer, and hit me zwei times in the ear. For lands decadent, pup, they seem to have all kinds of vim aud steam.” The dachshund yowled, loud as ho durst, and then was changed to Wienerwurst. [Sausage.]