“The Absent=Minded Mule.”

Temuka Leader, Issue 3539, 25 January 1900, Page 4

“The Absent=Minded Mule.”

The Outlook published a clever parody on Itudyard Kipling’s latest poem, “ Tho Absent-Minded Beggar.” It is suggested by the stampede of the' mules with the ammunition, which led to tho capitulation of tho two British battalions at Farquhar’s Farm, near Ladysmith, recently. Hero are some of the verses :—- IV hen you’re walking out your Gloucesters and your Irish Fusiliers, And you feel like slapping Kruger on the mouth. Don’t forget to keep an optic on a little chap -with ears, A gentleman in floor-boards, j ust come South. He’s an absent-minded beggar, and his style is pretty high— Though, of course, we’ve got to take him as wo find him— Ho is here on active service, and he’s been and done a guy. And left a lot of things behind him ! Old mule—bold mule—mule of the hairy tail— Mule of spirit and swift hind-hoof and flabby scornful lip— Each of him doing his country’s work (how when ho happens to fail?) Never go nap on an army mule, ’cause he’ll skip ! skip ! skip !

He’s the thing for stony country, hard as nails, and tough as boot ; Y«u can feed him cheap and work him very late; You can load him up with most things, from lemonade to loot, But small-arm ammunition ain’t his weight: Oh, tho boys that kicked him casual, they’ll be sorry now he’s gone. For an absent-minded beggar thev’ll find him; They’re safe and sound with Joubert (and the fun just coming on !) — Our poor Tommies that the mule has left behind him! What mule?—pot mule—son of a blawsted gun— Son of a Lambeth publican—born to give us tho slip—■ Each of him doing his country’s work (Lordy, how it gets done !) Never go nap on an army mule, ’cause he’ll skip ! skip! skip!

He’d been trained to smell blank cartridge and wink the other eye. He delighted in tho music of the hand. But he’d never soon no boulders and ho didn’t want to die, And shot and shell were more than he could stand : He’s an absent-minded beggar, though ho heard his country’s call. And his regiment didn’t need to send to find him ; He chucked his job and bolted—and the job before us all Is to get the men he’s went and loft behind him ! Rough job—tough job—job for Buller & Co. ; Job for fifty thousand men (that’s the bloomin’ tip). Each of ’em doing his country’s work, each of ’em having a go; Each of ’em ’ware of the army mule what’ll-skip! skip! skip!