The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, MAY 17, 1887. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1582, 17 May 1887, Page 2

The Temuka Leader TUESDAY, MAY 17, 1887. THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

I bare not been able to get a word in edgeways for the last fortnight. I have tried my best to persuade the printer to give me space to ease my bruins of its burning thoughts, but he preferred reports of Road Board meetings, School meetings, Jubilee meetings, and sncb stupid stuff, to anything I could supply, and hence the reason that my contributions have not appeared. It was by much coaxiDg I hove been able to get this in. With regard to the question of celebrating the Queen's Jubilpe, it appears to me that a great deal of bad taste is being exhibited, and that the Jubileeisis are, innocently no doubt, outraging a conventionalism of society, for which there is no forgiveness. As " the mender of manners," "the glass of fashion," etc., etc. (I am too modest to enumerate all my qualities at once), I think it my duty to issue a warning now before it is too late. It is a social trio, foi the commission of which no one ever received absolution, to talk about a lady's age. It is bad, I'Xtremply bid, to whisper a lady's age in your mildest iind blandest totips in the drawing-room, or in (br rocking-chair, or the v.-randan. It you happen ro forget yourself and fill into such a sin you had better put a s ife distance bp'ween yr-urself and thu lad> whose age you have discussed. Now if it is forbidden to speak about a Udy's age in a quiet way like that, how oan it bo pardonable to make demonstrations and speeches, and raise monuments to proclaim to the world the age of our Sovereigo Lady the Queen ? It is bar-,

barous. lam surprised at the people forgetting themselves so much. 1 shwll have nothing to do with it unless it takes an ardently spirituous form. In Waimate a Mr Black has sueceecM in carrying a resolution at * public meeting affirming that the best way to celebrate the Queen's Jubilee is to establish swimming baths. Thiß proposal appears to me to imply that the Waimate people want washing. It reminds me of the following lines written by Dean Swift on a man who bequeathed all he had to a lunatic aeylum : " He gave the little wealth he had To build a house far people mnd, To show by one satiric touch No nation wanted it eo much." Probably it is on this principle Waimate has acted. Doubtless they realise there is nothing they want so much as a good wash. The Timaru evening paper on last Saturday gushed jubilantly over having gone to lire with its grandmother recently. By this is meant that both the Timaru papers are priuted and published by the same proprietor in the 6ame office and off the same type. Our little evening friend is very jubilant over the arrangement, but it has the I coolness to say that it is the grandmother which has benefited by the change. The boot is on the other leg. The poor thing was in a most deplorable condition ; it looked ragged, pale, and half starved ; it seemed as if it were dying by inches from galloping consumption, Brigiit's disease, or some other wasting ailment. Since it went to live with its grandmother, however, it has got a new "rig out;" it wears more of the outward semblance of prosperity. lam of opinion that it is very sound in body now, but it remains, I am sorry to say, as as ever. Poor thing, if it hud any sense it would not boast of having gone to sponge on the poor old woman !

I bare heard of a clergyman who used to glory in the existence of discordant elements in his congregation. Ho used to say it denoted the presence of spiritual life, and that where there was nothing but calm and quietness there was uot much life of any bind. To illustrate this, he used to point to a cemetery hard by, and say : " There is calm and peace and quietness there, but no life." I wap reminded of this story at the last annual meeting of the ratepayers of the Temuka Road Board district. There was no life there. Not a soul turned up, excepting four members of the Board and about a dozen dogs. There was no quorum, and the meeting lapsed. Now, I want to know how is it all interest has ceased ? I bare seen \ery lively annual meetings held in the Road Board Office, but now, alas, no one will be found willing to contest an election. It was suggested to the Roard that they should pass this resolution : " That a rote of censure be passed on the officers of the Board for having destroyed all public interest in the Board's transactions by doing the work so well as to leave no room for complaint." Instead of carrying this resolution \tbe Board went and increased' one officer's salarv.

It is an ill wind that blows nobody good. Recently a woman was sentenced to a week's imprisonm?nt in Temuka for making use of bad language, and the Resident Magistrate, after boving convicted her, agreed to let her out under The First Offenders' Probatiou Act 1886. I have often given Mr Beswick hints on law, but it appears to me he does not profit by them. I will, how- ' ever, give him one hint more. Let him look up the First Offenders' Probation Act, and be will find that he bad no power to let the woman out on probation. The offence of which she was convicted was not »n indictable offence, and the Act does not give power to release on probation anyone except those crnvicted of indictable offences. It would do Mr Beswick no barm to spend a little, more of bis time in reading up the statutes he has to administer. For instance, during the hearing of the Reid v. Velvin case Mr Aspinall submitted that the Court had power to inflict a fine instead of imprisonment. Mr Beswick at first disputed the point, but he found on referring to the Act that the first offence s«t down as punishable by a fine inatead of imprisonment waß simple larceny, He admitted Mr Aspinall was right, and candidly admitted that he never knew that before. The Act has been 6V years >n operation, during which time Mr Beswick has been in receipt of a salary of about JBSOO a year for administering it. It I had a servant to whom I was paying £SOO a year, and at the end ot five years be said he did not know his duty, I should say that it was time be did. Com O'Lanus.