WILL ROGERS’ JOKES

Taranaki Daily News, 5 September 1935, Page 8

WILL ROGERS’ JOKES

ONCE VISITED NEW ZEALAND. DISAPPOINTED IN G. B. SHAW. Will Rogers, killed last month __ in Alaska, once toured Australia and New Zealand with Tex McLeod’s “outfit” of cowboys. On one occasion he was arrested at Warrnambool, Victoria, for leading an elephant through the streets at midnight. \ Recalling his Warrnambool, expenence, years later, Rogers’ comment was: “It wasn’t my elephant, but its keeper had fallen off the water waggon, and I thought the best way to amuse an elephant was to take it walking.” Will Rogers became the rage of London when he appeared there in 1926 on Cochran’s Revue, and four years ago he visited England, this time, so he declared, “to see that chap Shaw, who has been lifting my stuff for years, to interview King George, to look at the country where the liquor trade was not stimulated by prohibition, and to give the Naval Conference the once-over.” z Rogers said Bernard Shaw was “not a J bad old cove,” but expressed disappoint- ; ment that he did not have a new joke. / Rogers published two volumes of his “wise-cracks” under the title of -“Rogerisms.” Here are some typical examples: Don’t let love get mixed up with politics—or with anything else. Only two things count in politicspersonality and promises! When you are running for office, you’ve got to kiss more babies than the opposing candidate, and make them like it better. ■ My experience has been that a woman, if she’s any good, don’t fall in love with a quitter. X Whenever destiny taps a man .on the shoulder and says, “tag, you’re it,” it’s no time for poor weak mortals to interfere. It’s the same in politics aS it is in life —wait for the last returns. Love’s a mighty sweet thing, but it turns pretty sour when side issues are dragged in. At twenty we don’t care what the world thinks about us. At thirty, -we worry about what it thinks of us. At forty, we’re sure it doesn’t think of us. Hen eggs are more popular than duck eggs, because a hen cackles to advertise its product. ’ -